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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » STD Emergency!!!

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Author Topic: STD Emergency!!!
Viivalajuiicy
Neophyte
Member # 110905

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I've contracted gonorrhea and brought it to my boyfriend attention. He went to the doctor and like a week or 2 later they told him that he doesn't have or didn't have gonorrhea. I've been with him for 2.5 years and I have not stepped out on my relationship, now him on the other hand has done his dirt. How is it possible that I had gonorrhea and he didn't I'm confused and it bothers me a lot because I know I have never cheated on him. I kept saying he's lying that his doctor didn't tell him his results were negative but if he's telling the truth how is it that I have contracted this STD and I never cheated on him. I'm so confused!
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Volunteer Ruth
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 110582

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Hi, and welcome to the boards!

I'm going to be straight up here and say that I don't know how you can have gonorrhea without your boyfriend having contracted it, if as you say you haven't had sexual contact with anyone else. I've passed on this thread to the other volunteers and hopefully someone else should be able to answer that for you.

What I did want to pitch in and say, however, is that if you still want to continue having sex with your boyfriend, it's really important that you use barrier methods (condoms, dental dams) with him. Honestly, I would recommend this anyway in light of your knowledge that he's slept with other people, because you can't vouch for the STI status of his other sexual partners, but especially now that you have an active STI.

Also, did your boyfriend take a full STI test or just one for gonorrhea? Because again, if he's having sex with other people, which could potentially be unprotected, he's put himself at risk of contracting other infections and diseases.

You also might want to read this to give you more information about gonorrhea, if you don't have much already: The STI Files: Gonorrhea

I'm sorry I couldn't have been of more help, but somebody else should stop by and fill in the blanks that I couldn't.

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Volunteer Ruth
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Okay, new reply: When did you last test negative for gonorrhea?
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Viivalajuiicy
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Member # 110905

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That's why I'm not understanding and it bothers me a lot because I know I've never stepped out and the only way to get a STD is from an infected person. He's been cheating, I haven't. He's negative I'm positive. Very much confused.
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Sam W
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 108189

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Hi Viva,

Yes, him cheating is a possible option here (which sucks to consider). However, one thing that might help us narrow down the possible explanations is knowing when you had your last negative test. Or is this the first time you've been tested?

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Viivalajuiicy
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Member # 110905

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Like around 3 months ago he gave me chlamydia. Got that taken care of. He never called back the doctor to see what std he contracted but when I went they told me what it was so I told him. Now when I brought it to his attention he's goes "maybe the prescription didn't work or didn't take in" I'm like that's impossible because during this 3 month period wouldn't the std get worse & when he had chlamydia he had symptoms & I didn't. With this gonorrhea I don't know how it can happen & he's not infected because the day before I had symptoms, we had sex the next day after I used the bathroom I had this burning uncomfortable feeling. I went to the ER they claimed it was a UTI so afterwards they called me to come for treatment. So if I didn't cheat where did this gonorrhea come from? Not the toilet & it definitely didn't come from thin air!!
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Sam W
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 108189

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Okay, so it sounds like he has a history of not disclosing his STI status to you, or at least being careless in that regard. Which means that it is possible that he tested positive and was treated for it without telling you. One other possibility is that he did have it, but an antibiotic he took for other purposes might have treated it.

However, ultimately, we here can't really know for sure what the answer is. If this is about him being dishonest or withholding info, then the only person who can fill in the gaps is him. Does this feel to you like something you two can have an honest conversation about?

Going forward, what (if anything) would be helpful for us to give you info on?

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I want to add that if you are going to stay with this person, you very clearly need to insist on condom use from here in out.

Condoms would have fully protected you from both these infections, and will protect you from them, moving forward.

Given the situation, you may well nit be staying with this person, but in case you are, or need some time to figure out what you want to do, it seems to me the least you can do for yourself here is protect your health.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Viivalajuiicy
Neophyte
Member # 110905

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I can have an honest conversation with him @Sam the thing is I do not know what he is trying to protect by lying to me. & @Heather yes definitely I have not have sex with him for a month now and if I decide to do so I'm definitely protecting myself. I called my doctor to confirm what was going on and it's definitely him. I just have this strong feeling! But thank you guys for your input to my situation.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, perhaps what he is trying to "protect" is his desire to have other sexual interactions and relationships outside yours. [Frown]

By all means, switching to an open relationship is one way people can have that, however, doing so well, and in ways where that is likely to be okay for everyone very much requires honesty, on top of things like using safer sex with everyone. My personal advice would be that when someone demonstrates they do not want to be honest in these ways, they are not going to be someone able or willing to manage an open relationship.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Marie91
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Member # 110910

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I have a question, well I've been with my sons father for 2 years now I was recently treated for trichomonas I had told him about it because he is the only person I have been in contact with and he said to me he looked it up and I couldn't get it from him ejaculating in me and it not being good cleaned right. I guess my question is if that is true or not because I have googled it and I'm still not finding what he claims to have found
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey, Marie91 : can you start your own topic for this, rather than popping into someone else's? You can do that just by clicking "new topic" on the top of any page of the boards.

Thanks!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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