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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » anxiety taking over, woooah

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Author Topic: anxiety taking over, woooah
inxperienced18
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Member # 108743

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hey guys.
okay, so I've posted once before about sort-of dryhumping-but-not-really scares, when I was still un-sex-educated.
now, I am fully aware that lying on each other while kissing really really really does not pose any risk of pregnancy whatsoever, and I even help some of my friends with scare issues (with the help of your site, obviously [Wink] )
this is not a pregnancy scare post.
I don't quite know how to explain it, but it's more about the anxiety I know causes these scares every single month.
I absolutely know that pregnancy cannot happen by what my boyfriend and I are doing, but I can still not shake the feeling that I'm pregnant, even though I just had my period.
This feeling is totally taking over my life - like, my boyfriend wears multiple layers of underwear every time we are together (he came up with that idea all on his own, quite a keeper, haha), because he knows that I'm stressy. He had told me multiple times how ejaculation happens for him (yes, I'm totally inexperienced), and even checked for precum every time after we have kissed, just to ease my mind. I know this is totally ridiculous, because precum cannot soak through clothes and magically get me pregnant, but I can't help thinking that.
I know that this is caused by anxiety, very, very bad anxiety. Thing is, I don't quite know how to deal with it. I can't talk to my parents about it - they're all about what people think, and they'd think I'm crazyyy. I also can't go to a doctor without them knowing. I seriously don't know what to do about this, you guys are the only people whom I can talk to.

Posts: 13 | From: Africa | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
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While we're deeply sympathetic about what you're going through, we're just not the right people to provide real help for anxiety. It's just not within our expertise or capability.

Why would your parents know if you went to a doctor? In most places in the world, legal minors have the right to see a healthcare provider without their parent/s. Have you been able to ask a doctor about their confidentiality policies?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
inxperienced18
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Member # 108743

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They'd have to pay for the doctor, wouldn't they? That's all I'm worried about.
Posts: 13 | From: Africa | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
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I see. If healthcare where you live doesn't have free/subsidised facilities or an insurance scheme, then possibly so.

Even if you think they might not respond well, do you think your parents would pay for you to see a doctor? You're describing a clear medical need, and I don't want that need to be unmet if there's a chance it can be met. If your parents would be most concerned about other people's reactions, then medical care is supposed to be confidential, so they and you don't have to tell anyone that you're seeing a doctor, or why. Do you think it might help if you had some basic information about anxiety to share with your parents, so that they can know it's not about being "crazy", but just a thing that happens to some people, rather like physical illness? There's a lot of harmful misinformation about mental health conditions, and many people haven't had the opportunity to get real, correct information.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
inxperienced18
Neophyte
Member # 108743

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not much is free where I come from, poor old africa. I don't have a very close relationship with my parents. I know by how they react to other things that they would not respond well to me telling them that I want to see a doctor.
I think I'll find out if my university has some free mental services I could use, they should have.
Thanks for your time, I just needed someone to talk to, I guess.

Posts: 13 | From: Africa | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

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I'm sorry to hear your parents aren't very supportive - that always makes things harder.

Finding out what's available from your university sounds like a good plan.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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