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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Is sex supposed to hurt?

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Author Topic: Is sex supposed to hurt?
Chocolate_Bubbles
Neophyte
Member # 108463

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I had sex for the first time not too long ago. My bf went kinda fast, but it was ok. Sometimes he went to deep, but then he stopped. Afterwards, my vagina was hurting. Is this normal?
Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacob at Scarleteen
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 66249

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Hey Chocolate Bubbles,

Sorry to hear you had some painful sex there. Sex shouldn't be painful, when it is it can be for a number of reasons. Arousal makes a big difference and when it comes to making sex pleasurable that often means having more relaxed muscles, and being

From what you say, it seems like he was making a lot of the decisions of how you would have sex. Even just noticing the language you used he went fast, he went to deep, he stopped.

A lot of making sex work better for us is about shifting a way from 'he' and making it more about 'you' and more about 'we'.

Really starting what feels explicitly good for you, and what feels good for both of you is probably the number one way to improve things, and that comes from communication, knowing what each of you are feeling and reacting.

We just happen to have a great article on painful intercourse:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gender/from_ow_to_wow_demystifying_painful_intercourse

Another on communicating:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/be_a_blabbermouth_the_whys_whats_and_hows_of_talking_about_sex_with_a_partner

And another more creative article, by heather, on different attitudes to partnered sex, it definitely had a massive impact on me thinking about these things:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gender/an_immodest_proposal

Posts: 694 | From: Leeds UK | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Chocolate_Bubbles
Neophyte
Member # 108463

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Ok, thanks!
Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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