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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Help, std scare. Really scared. Am i at risk?

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Author Topic: Help, std scare. Really scared. Am i at risk?
edenwoodsman
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Hi, over the weekend, i had kissed and licked my boyfriend's penis shaft. Not the penis head, just the shaft. He said he never had any sexual encounter before me. He said he did not notice any sore on his penis. We also made out and i gave him a blowjob. There was precum but i am not sure it dripped or that i licked the pre cum. Its been 3 days and now i notice a small pimple-like thing on my lips. Not exactly on the lips, its actually on the skin a little bit above my upper lip. I also noticed a small pimple like thing with pus on my vagina but i have never had sex. I also feel slight stinging in my eyes. I'm just wondering;

1) Are those symptoms of std?

2) Am i at risk for std, specifically/especially herpes and syphilis?

3) If i accidentally licked the precum, would it make a difference?

4) Does making out and giving handjob to a person who have had a sexual history transmit std?

5) Is it easy to contract herpes and syphilis?

6) Is syphilis ONLY contracted through infected sore?

7) If my boyfriend and i never had sex and he never performed cunnilingus on me, is it possible to get some kind of genital std through only making out, handjob and the licking penis shaft incident?

8) Do i need testing?

Hoping for a detailed answer/advice/explanation. Thank you so much in advance!

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Sam W
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Hi eden,

So, I think you want to start by reading this article, as it will give you a sense of the risk levels:
Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

I can't really, diagnose what the pimples you're having are. But, I think the most likely answer is that they are just that: pimples.

I would also say that, in the future, you use some sort of barrier for any sexual contact, since it sounds like STDs are something that you're worried about

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edenwoodsman
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Thank you so much!I've read it but i'm still having doubts. Would the risk be the same if i had not put the penis in my mouth? It was only a quick peck and a quick lick on the penis. My boyfriend mentioned that he did not notice any sore or pimple or anything on his penis. He also mentioned that he never had any sexual relationship with anyone before me so that means he would be clean, no? But i'm still worried. And one more, would std symptoms appear that early?
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edenwoodsman
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Thank you so much!I've read it but i'm still having doubts. Would the risk be the same if i had not put the penis in my mouth? It was only a quick peck and a quick lick on the penis. My boyfriend mentioned that he did not notice any sore or pimple or anything on his penis. He also mentioned that he never had any sexual relationship with anyone before me so that means he would be clean, no? But i'm still worried. And one more, would std symptoms appear that early?
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edenwoodsman
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Does that count as oral sex? I'm pretty confused.
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Redskies
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Licking any part of someone's genitals - even for a very short time - is oral sex, yes.

I'm not sure what you mean by "would the risk be the same if I had not put the penis in my mouth?" - would the risk be the same as what?

People do not always have symptoms when they have an STI, so that's not a reliable way to know whether someone has one or not. In fact, with some STIs, it's more common to have no symptoms.

If your boyfriend has never had any kind of sexual contact with another person - and that means never having had manual sex or oral sex too - then it's very unlikely that he has an STI, but not impossible. That's because some STIs can be transmitted in ways other than sexual contact.

Once you start being sexually active, it's important to take care of your sexual health. That means 1) using barriers to reduce the risk of STI transmission and 2) getting regular STI testing and reproductive health check-ups. Do you know how to access that care?

Here's our info about safer sex: Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To which talks about those two points in more detail. We also have lots of information about barrier usage and getting tested, and we're happy to pass that your way and talk about those things with you, if you like.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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edenwoodsman
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Thank you. I'm sorry, in my first post i accidentally said blowjob instead of handjob. So sorry! I meant, would the risk be the same if i had not put the penis in my mouth, as in would the risk the same as giving a person a blowjob. Sorry!
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edenwoodsman
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And one more, can you only get syphilis through contact with an infected sore?
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Redskies
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I'm still not quite sure what you're asking about. Are you asking if the risks are the same in giving your boyfriend manual sex (handjob) as they are in giving him oral sex (blowjob)? The risks aren't the same, no. Did you check out the article Sam linked you to up-thread? That lists the different risks from different activities in detail. If there's anything in that article you need help understanding, we're happy to pitch in with that for you, just let us know.

I'm not certain of the answer to the syphilis question you're asking, so I'll make sure someone who does answers that for you when they get here later. In the meantime: The STI Files: Syphilis

Is there a reason you're particularly asking about syphilis and herpes? They're just two of a whole list of STIs, and many of the other STIs can be transmitted via oral and/or manual sex.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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edenwoodsman
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What i'm trying to ask is that whether the risk of me licking and kissing my boyfriend's penis shaft is the same as the risk of transmitting std through oral sex?
Yes, i've read the link, its just that i'm confused as the duration of me licking the penis shaft is so brief, less than 30seconds, so i'm just wondering.

No reason in particular, its just that when i read about herpes and syphilis, it scared me more.

Thank you!

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Redskies
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Licking and kissing your boyfriend's penis is oral sex, so it has the risks of STI transmission that oral sex does. The length of time doesn't really matter.

Does that answer you better this time? [Smile]

Herpes, while not curable, is not a very serious or very life-altering condition for most people who catch it. Syphilis is very treatable so long as it's diagnosed. Really, any STIs are better not to catch if we can prevent it, and much better diagnosed and treated quickly. So, how are you fixed for getting your reproductive healthcare?

[ 05-22-2014, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Heather
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I want to make sure, too that you understand -- plenty of people don't, and sounds like you might not either -- that these sexual activities do not CREATE sexually transmitted infections.

In other words, we can catch a cold from someone if they sneeze on us. But that sneeze is not making the cold virus: they had to have already had that virus, and the sneeze is just how it is spreading.

So, if you and your partner do not have any STIs, something we establish through testing for them, then those activities will not give you those STIs. To pass an STI on to someone, a person has to first have one in the first place.

Make sense?

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edenwoodsman
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Yeap,got it! Thanks everyone for the answers! I feel much better now, definitely going for a testing soon to ease my mind. Thank you very much!
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edenwoodsman
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Yeap,got it! Thanks everyone for the answers! I feel much better now, definitely going for a testing soon to ease my mind. Thank you very much!
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edenwoodsman
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Hi, sorry, another quick questions.

I suddenly remembered something that had happened around 3 years ago. I had a relationship with a pretty messed up guy who took drugs and sex etc, however the relationship wasnt a sexual one, we only held hands, touched each others' arms, hug, and all those casual contact. So regarding this skin to skin contact,

1) if lets say this guy has std or even hiv, how easy would it be to transmit std/hiv if there were cuts present?
2) How deep must the cut be for it to transmit anything? Does it have to bleed at that time?
3) If the cuts were only on him, and not me, and i touch his arm where the cuts were, can it transmit any std/hiv
4) There was an incident where we were working and i accidentally cut my finger and he (assuming he has std/hiv) took my finger into his mouth and sucked the blood out of it. Will i be at risk from contracting anything from him? I've read that saliva does not contain hiv traces but i'm wondering because there was a fresh cut with blood present.

Thank you!

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Basically your blood has to get in contact with his blood, so both of you have to have cuts, and blood has to leave the cut with a bit of it going back in having scooped up a bit of the hiv virus etc. That'd require a fair bit of bleeding, open wounds and some friction between them (one more reason why lube is a good idea).

That said, it doesn't sound like that happened here... there aren't any recorded cases of HIV passing onto someone via saliva.

Some conditions can spread skin-to-skin like moluscum contageousa... I had that, it wasn't a big deal, the doctor's advice was 'it usually resolves itself, come back if you have any issues'. You would also know about it, some bumps appear on the skin, then they go away, end of STD.

quote:
(assuming he has std/hiv)
That's a pretty big assumption... just because someone is sexually active or a drug user it's no cause to assume they have HIV, that's a big jump. Many sexually active people may have minor STDs but in a very manageable way. An INJECTING drug user, might have increased risk if they're sharing needles, but if they're neither of those things then again that's not a thing to assume.

So yep, that is nothing to worry about, but if it is worrying you it's worth looking a little deeper at why that might be... especially as you might know how unrealistic it is.

[ 05-23-2014, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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edenwoodsman
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Thank you so much for the answer! I understand now [Smile] Thank you so much!
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edenwoodsman
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Oh, one more question. i have a question regarding eczema. My eczema usually occurs around my wrists and neck. Assuming that i have std (just assuming the worst case scenario) would i in anyway through having eczema, transmit std to my boyfriend through kissing and giving a ha****b?
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Heather
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Your skin condition, all by itself, would not likely present any extra risks of giving someone else a sexually transmitted infection, no. The only issue it would be likely to present, if it ever results for you in torn or raw skin, is it being easier for you to acquire (to get) an infection, sexual or otherwise.

Really, I do think you will feel best if you go through that piece of how to practice safer sex you were linked to, and this one: All the Barriers! All the Time!

Those are the ways we can reduce risks if we want to be sexual with others. Obviously, too, you have the option not to be sexual with others if you just do not feel ready for that, including if you do not yet feel like you have the education/information you need to make choices that you feel good about and safe with, okay?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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edenwoodsman
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Yeap, got it. Thank you so much!!
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