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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Need help (Page 3)

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Author Topic: Need help
Heather
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Btw, if you have not yet read these two pieces, I think they should fill you in well on how pregnancy can and cannot happen, and via what activities:
- http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/can_i_get_pregnant_or_get_or_pass_on_an_sti_from_that
- http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/where_did_i_come_from_a_refresher_course_in_human_reproduction

[ 07-20-2014, 08:12 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Princess_g
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I read the first article and im confused if i had a low risk or no risk? it says some type of fragile clothing piece do underwear and boot shorts fall under that category?
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Princess_g
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he also only had his boxers which i believe didnt have an opening for his penis. but i do remember his boxers having a wet spot on them and like i said i felt it while he was on top of me
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Princess_g
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Im sorry i dont want to be pushy i just havnt received a response. I am confused I read the first article and im confused if i had a low risk or no risk? it says some type of fragile clothing piece do underwear and boot shorts fall under that category?
he also only had his boxers which i believe didnt have an opening for his penis. but i do remember his boxers having a wet spot on them and like i said i felt it while he was on top of me, and i also having recieved a respond on the steps to seek help for my depression

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Heather
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With your depression, do you have healthcare? If so, have you asked about help with depression through that healthcare?

Again, when people have some kind of clothing on, pregnancy simply is not a realistic risk, not even with one layer. And then the more layers they are, the more and more unrealistic that becomes.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Princess_g
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i do have healthcare, but no i havent i really dont now if im depressed or just really hurt, I am talking to this guy, and i have no idea what we are.
Ive never really felt like this with any guy.

We Have been talking for 3 months and we been we have been texting everday since we've been talking. and a month ago he told me that he was falling in love with me, and now he is acting really weird.

Recently Ive caught him liking other girls selfies on instagram and he is not as romantic and he used to be. I used to see him 5 days out of the week and they are beginning to become shorter and through texting they are becoming shorter too. when we hangout we are fine but its when we arent together that i dont understand him.

I have asked him if he wants to be in a relationship with me and he said yes but he just does not want to rush into one but im so confused because he says we are practically in a relationship without the label and ive tried to ask him whats the difference but he didnt really answer my question he said that this way we get to know each other better and this way our relationship will be stronger and last longer.

I honestly dont know what to do because i honestly think im in love with him, and i dont know what he wants or if he even wants this anymore. I really dont know what to do and ive been feeling really insecure after i caught him liking selfies on instagram.

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Heather
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You know, when we are suffering from depression - whether that is clinical, where it is about imbalances in our bodies, situational, where it is because something happened that hurt us, or both - not only is it very, vary hard to get clarity with things like this, it is usually not a good time to even be pursuing romantic relationships in the first place. It is just usually way to hard to deal with both of those things at once, and have the kind of resilience we need to cope.

Since you have access to healthcare, why don't you start by making an appointment with your general doctor or a mental healthcare doctor, so they can get started with you? The first steps in that involve them using the education they have to help figure out what is going on and then filling you in on your options to manage it.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Princess_g
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so your telling me that i should take time off from seeing him, because of how i am feeling? but dont most girls go through insecurities? because thats what i feel right now.
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Heather
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What I'm saying is that since you have expressed you may be suffering from depression, and without any help or treatment for that AND you have expressed a lot of conflicted feelings, that trying to figure things like this out right now may be a bit of a losing battle.

So, I'd set aside working out the relationship stuff -- be that taking a break, or just letting things lie -- until you first see a healthcare provider to check in with, and perhaps start getting some help. Once you do, it'll be a lot easier to figure out if, for instance you're feeling insecure because of depression, or just because, or because you're in something with someone that isn't secure and doesn't support you feeling secure. Does that make sense?

A lot of people think that depression and the like are normal parts of being a teenager or a young woman. They are certainly common, but they aren't something that just happens without cause, or because of being a certain age. Usually, though, they can be helped and are either medical issues, or feelings stemming from specific problems.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Princess_g
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But what is depression really i looked up the symptoms and in no intent do i have thoughts about hurting myself, im still eating fine, and I dont sit around. Yeah some days i will feel really sad that I just start crying, but i think what has me like moping around is the fact that i dont know what me and the guy im talking to relationship is. and to be honest ive never been insecure about myself, but i just didnt like the fact that he was going around liking girls selfie pictures. Thats what started all this.
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Molias
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Since you expressed worry about depression earlier, I do think it's a good idea to be evaluated for it. If you choose not to, that's up to you, but accessing some sort of counseling isn't just for specific diagnosed issues like depression but for other situations when feelings might be hard to sort through or stressful to deal with. Since it sounds like there's some of that going on for you at the moment, I do think it is worth looking into.
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