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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Awkward About Sex

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Author Topic: Awkward About Sex
callmeblu
Neophyte
Member # 109650

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half and have had sex a couple times, but it still feels really awkward for both of us (we're each other's first serious relationship). We're both educated about it and have talked about it a lot, but it hasn't helped the awkwardness. What can we do to become more comfortable with each other when we want to have sex?
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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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What do you think you are feeling awkard about? Being naked with each other? Certain activities?

How is your comfort leven around each other usually? Are you able to communicate well? Do you trust each other and feel safe with each other?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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callmeblu
Neophyte
Member # 109650

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I think being undressed is part of it, but also finding a position that works equally well for both of us, which is difficult because we're still inexperienced and are having trouble being comfortable enough to experiment. Outside of sex, we are amazing. We're comfortable sharing everything about ourselves (including what we want sexually) and our communication skills are great. we trust each other completely. We just get really nervous when we get to the point of actually having sex.
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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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If nudity is something that's making you feel awkward, one thing you can do is try to get used to that in non-sexual situations (such as showering together, naked cuddles) or taking smaller steps (such as engaging in sexual activities where you can leave some items of clothing on). You can do this at your own pace, and if you're not comfortable with full-on nudity yet, that's okay!

But one thing to keep in mind is that akwardness is really pretty much a given when you are first becoming sexually active, becoming sexual with a new person, or just trying something new. And part of being ready for sex is being able to deal with awkward situations, rather than letting them get you down.

So if you're both feeling really inhibited, and feeling easily embarrassed, that might be a sign that you're simply moving a bit faster than you are ready for, and need to slow down a little.

[ 03-03-2014, 04:41 AM: Message edited by: September ]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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