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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » birth control pill and backup method

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Author Topic: birth control pill and backup method
afrojunk
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hi,
since the article about the buddy backup method isnt working at the moment, i have a question.my girlfriend and i are getting more serious on sexual grounds amd sometimes have sex without condom; my gf takes her pill always before going to sleep (so not exact same time). is this perect use?

if she uses her pill correct do we need condoms,(we use wothdrawal) ? some sites say yes and some no. because pill works in three ways so it is almost impossible to get prefnant right?

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Heather
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It's right here, working fine: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/the_buddy_system_effectiveness_rates_for_backing_up_your_birth_control_with_a_ [Smile]

Your girlfriend's pill will come with a set of instructions that say how to use it properly. That involves taking it on time, swallowing it correctly, taking pills in the right order, not missing or skipping pills, and avoiding other medications that can interact with the pill.

Whether or not people use one method or more than one isn't something any site can or should be telling you is or is not the right thing. That's because that choice depends on what level of protection people want: it's not about fact, it's about choice.

It is not almost impossible to become pregnant while using the pill. In perfect use, in one year, for every 100 people using it, less than one will become pregnant. The pill, in perfect use, is over 99% effective. In typical use, in one year, it is 91% effective, so that's around nine out of every one hundred people in a year using it typically who will become pregnant.

Some people will be comfortable with, in either case, that level of protection from pregnancy. others will want to add a second method, like condoms, to be better protected, or to have a backup should one method go awry in some way, or should they make a mistake using it, as will tend to happen from time to time. Of course, when it comes to adding condoms, some people also do that because the pill can't protect against infections, which condoms can.

Make sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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afrojunk
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okay but in normal days this shouldnt be a problem right? its an everyday ritual?

i get what you mean, but there is also this what i am queationing myself everytime. sperm can survivie appr. 4-7days and ovulation is at half of the menstruation. my gf has a max 33 day cycle most of the time, usually 32. so here ovulation is at the 16 day and fertility is then from the 9th day till 18th day righr? cuz the egg cant survive more than day?

so if she takes her pill correctly there isnt an egg available? and her she isnt fertile from the 18 or 19 day till last day of cycle? is this right or wrong cuz i think this is what i learned in biology haha?

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Redskies
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I'm not sure what you mean by "this" in "in normal days this shouldn't be a problem, right?"

Someone who is taking the pill correctly will not ovulate, because the pill prevents ovulation. We have more information on the pill here: Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill) and a detailed explanation of how it works here: How do birth control pills really work, even during the placebo period?

When someone is not using hormonal contraception, it isn't possible to know when they ovulate and when they are fertile unless they chart their body's physical responses carefully every day for months. Each person's cycle is individual and slightly different, so counting days will only give you a general estimate and not what is actually happening in that person's body. Let's Dial Down Some (Maybe) Ovulation Freakouts

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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afrojunk
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What is considered perfect use? taking pill on same minute? my gf takes pill when goes to bed; which is usually between 9.30 and 12.00 pm. i mean that are normal times to go to sleep. she uses it for 13 months now amd o have only taking one pill wrong in the very first month

i know the part in what the pill does! but then, if she takes the pill correctly and does not have an ovulation, she cant get pregnant? or that s what i think i know and/or read in the articles! Also an egg can only survive one day.

if i understand correctly: a girl have to take her pill around the same time, if she does then does not have ovulation and cant get pregnant right? or am i missing something?

my gf and i do this:
-begin of the month she has her period, then the first weekend (around day 6 or 7) we never have sex because she finds it confortable then
-the second weekend always with condom
-the last two weekends without condom.

The point is I cant cum from intercourse, whatever i try. only from oral or manual sex; so im sure i never ejaculate inside. is it reliable the way we do this or am i talking crap?

we only have have sex in the weekends (because that is when sleep with eachother) and the third weekend starts around the 18th or 19th day.(also we use usually have one time sex in a month, sometimes two times intercourse in a month if this is useful information).

can you provide me some feedback on oure way of having sex?, because the advice is usually more useful than the articles i think, especiially the advice from heather or robin lee.

[ 01-21-2014, 10:05 AM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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Heather
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Why don't you ask her if you can read the directions for her pill, and then also look at our pages on the main site that discuss proper use of the birth control pill? That includes some of the links you were given right above your last response, which it seems like you did not look at yet.

As made clear in the user registration agreement you said okay to when registering for the boards, the boards are not intended to replace the articles, only to be a support for them. You agreed to reading first on the main site before posting, and we need you, like other users, to honor that. We simply lack the time or resources to work only or even mostly via direct services, and ask users to please respect that limitation.

You know, though, the pill is really hers to take and use, and to take responsibility for. I would suggest you see about shifting your focus to what method or methods, like condoms, you use and can take responsibility for. And if that does not feel like enough control for you, then it seems it may be time to revisit your choice to engage in these kinds of sex and rethink how ready you feel for them.

[ 01-21-2014, 10:11 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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afrojunk
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okay i will read them, but it are quite a lot of pages haha [Big Grin]

i understand that fully, it is just that i dont understand one part of it. Can she get pregnant the whole month or not? I read a lot on the internet and it is all scary shit; this is the only site with a good information source.

I want to take responsibility, i do, but she doesnt like sex with condoms because it irritates after a while and i want to give the pleasure she wants.

Can someone give me a reaction about the way me and my gf have that thought about the monthly cycle we use in the previous reply of me:
' my gf and i do this:
-begin of the month she has her period, then the first weekend (around day 6 or 7) we never have sex because she finds it confortable then
-the second weekend always with condom
-the last two weekends without condom. '
and i cant cum from intercourse so i use that correctly?

if you use the pill correctly then how come that it has not full protection? we have no STD since we have never had sex with anyone else. so is the condom usually for std or also the backup buddy?

[ 01-21-2014, 10:15 AM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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Heather
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It is not quite a lot of pages, actually. And no more than the pages you are asking us to generate for you here, which effectively involve someone like me rewriting what I have already written on those pages.

Please respect limits we are setting with you, rather than trying to push past them. Why don't you go take a fraction of the time you are asking from us to go read the material you have been given, and when you have, if anything was not covered there you need, or you do not understand any part of it and want clarity, then come back to the boards. Thank you.

If your partner, btw, any partner, does not want to use the safety, like condoms, you know you need, then you are at an impasse and need to think about if that will work for you. Mind, condoms are not likely to irritate the vagina when used properly (unless she has a latex allergy, in which case you just swap to nonlatex condoms), so this may be a matter of you both learning how to use them right, like using plenty of extra lubricant with them. But if even then she does not want them and you do, or you feel too scared without them, then it may just be you two are not a good fit right now per being sexual together.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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Also, that information you keep posting about when you have sex is effectively meaningless. The timing here really makes no difference at all, so there is not really anything for us to even respond to about that in the first place.

If you want to know how effective using the pill plus condoms,or the pill plus withdrawal is, you can go do a search on the main site for " the buddy system," a piece which provides simple effectiveness statistics for using more than one method. That information is right there for you, in easy reach.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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