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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » painful breakup

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Author Topic: painful breakup
thisgirl sprinkles
Member # 108226

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My boyfriend broke up with me last week saying he had feeling fot somone else. Obviously this hurt so bad because we had been together for a year. We had been intimate also so it made ut worse. He has been acting like a jerk he has called me a whore and says a lot of mean things to now for no reason. I just hate thinking about him being with somone else doing what we did and i just get really deppressed I don't know what to do. No matter what he says or does I'll still love him. What can I do?
Posts: 28 | From: florida | Registered: Aug 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 101745

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I'm so sorry to hear that your boyfriend broke up with you and has been saying those things to you - no matter what the reason for the breakup, it's really not ok for him to treat you like that.

We have a great article about surviving a breakup that I think might be a helpful read: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
thisgirl sprinkles
Member # 108226

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I read your article but I still feel so much pain. I feel like he used me because now I heard he said he wanted to be intimate with other girs and that hurts me so much. He always promised to lovee but it was all a lie. He just gave up on me after all we have been through. I need some advice on how to deal with this pain because all I want to do is talk to him but I know that won't be good. Please help.
Posts: 28 | From: florida | Registered: Aug 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You know, I don't know if this will help, but a lot of young people make promises about forever love. They mean them, often, when they say them, but just do not have the life experience to understand that there really is not such a thing, especially when everyone involved is new to these relationships. When people are young, relationships tend to be shorter, not longer.

However, someone who verbally abuses you, like by calling you names, may not have been in earnest. And as much as you are hurting right now, it might also help to know that behaviour like that tends to escalate, with the person becoming more abusive, or in different ways, so it really is likely you dodged a bullet here.

How much you are hurting here also can be influenced by the ways abusive people make us feel in relationships, wearing us down and also making us dependent. It can take a while after those relationships end to build ourselves back up and to also see that losing them is usually a blessing, not a curse.

[ 12-22-2013, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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