A week or so ago I posted about some body issues I was having as well as some medical-related anxiety. Basically what happened is I had some vaginal tearing and went to Planned Parenthood just to make sure everything was ok. It was - the doctor told me it was just a tear - but she did manage to trigger my anxiety really badly by suggesting that repeated tears might be indicative of herpes AND mentioning that some bumps in and around my vagina might be indicative of warts. To top it all off she was fairly aloof and stand offish and I didn't feel comfortable around her.
While I know my possibility of having either of these STIs is basically nonexistant, it still triggered my anxiety and I spent some serious time trying to calm myself down. I got some reassurance here and managed to stop catastrophizing. Well, just last week I went back to PP and saw the same doctor (by coincidence) for a UTI. Everything was fine, and she did a swab to check for yeast and anything else, and didn't say anything about any bumps or anything. Seeing her, though, and her cold behavior triggered me again and now I'm fighting an uphill battle to pull myself out of anxiety/catastrophizing.
I know logically I should just go get a test but I'm scared to go back to that Planned Parenthood, I don't have a primary care doctor yet, and the holiays are coming up. I also know logically that I am healthy, that I'm catastrophizing, and that the vagina is not all smooth and one texture. I am worrying unnecessarily and having trouble pulling myself out and I'm nervous about going to my partners for reassurance because I'm afraid I've exhausted them with this circular worrying/thinking. If there is anything you can say or suggest to help me I would appreciate it, and I'm sorry for being a paranoid, anxious mess all over your forums.
Posts: 186 | From: Richmond, VA | Registered: Jan 2008
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It really sounds like just getting tested is your best answer here.
If that Planned Parenthood branch is not somewhere you feel comfortable doing that, you could likely get STI testing done at a general public or private health clinic, too.
Otherwise, what do you typically do to cope with and manage feelings of anxiety? Whatever those things are, they are things to do with this anxiety, too.
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