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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Worried about getting people pregnant? (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Worried about getting people pregnant?
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You don't need to be sorry.

But perhaps we can figure out what IS productive to talk about here that will help you out?

For instance, it sounds like you might not have had any, or any good, sexual or reproduction education. Does that sound right? If so, how about hitting the library or talking to your doctor?

Or, maybe you think something else is at the root of all of this: if so, what do you think that is?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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harmon
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No, I don't think it's that. Well I've always been a worrier, and then one day I just thought, could that happen? (What we've been talking about) so I looked on the Internet (yahoo answers so on) and found out loads of info, some people said no way, some people said yeah- it only takes one sperm and others called me strange ha ha! I guess this just made my worrying worse and worse.
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Heather
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Okay, so then it *does* sound to me like you haven't had any good education about reproduction.

In other words, if your thought wasn't "No, that can't happen," and then yahoo answers seemed like the best place to go first, it seems pretty clear to me you haven't had good education in that regard and also don't know where to even look to get it.

So, if this worry won't let go, how about hitting the library and looking up some more *credible* information (Yahoo answers is so far from that it's not even funny)? Mind, we've given you links that make clear that even this idea of it "only taking one sperm cell" is just plain wrong, so it might also be that you need to learn to accept the real information, but reading more from credible sources besides us so you can see that we all say the same things, rather than what you're going to get crowdsourcing people, at places like yahoo answers, who don't actually do this work, might help.

I find, too, it can help to think about where I'd go and ask for help if say, my dog were dying. Would I go to yahoo answers? Hell no: I'd never risk such random, questionably credible answers with a high-stakes situation like that. I'd call my vet, because I know they're credible. I'd say the same is going to be sound with anything that's really important to us: we don't just ask random people on the street to fill us in on things we're deeply concerned about. That just doesn't make sense, you know?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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This might help you with that, moving forward: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/legit_or_unfit_finding_safe_sound_sex_educators_support_online

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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harmon
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Yeah I see what your saying, but it just doesn't quite right. I feel that I have been educated. Like I said, I worry about things even when I know there isn't really anything to worry about. I think at first it was just curiosity, but then from looking it became more of a worry. It's like even though I know something's not possible, it still bugs me. I guess then I looked it up and people were saying yeah there is a small possibility so I guess then my worrying went the roof!
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Heather
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If what you're saying is that you find you have irrational fears about things, that you cannot manage or let go of, even when you know they are not rational, then you're describing a situation where what you likely need is help from a mental healthcare provider.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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harmon
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I think now that I have professional facts (from you) that's there is no way that it is possible, I should be able to stop worrying
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Heather
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Agreed.

So, if you find you can't, and that's an ongoing problem for you with more than just this particular issue, then I'd say your next step is to talk to a healthcare provider about anxiety and irrational fears.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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harmon
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Ok, thank you so so much- I feel alot better now [Smile]
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harmon
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Hi! I've been feeling so much better after talking to you guys, I've been able to stop worrying and I can't thank you enough [Smile] however I've got something that I'm worried about and it's kinda different to the other questions, so I just wanna double check that it's nothing to worry about. Basically I had a wet dream and then went and got changed. I then went to lay back down and saw a mark on my shirt (I just blew my nose so it was probably that - sorry its gross). Anyway I keep on thinking what if it was sperm on shirt? Because I touched it and smelt it (not sure why). Then I remember yawning and my finger touched my mouth. So basically if it was sperm, is there a pregnancy risk if I touched it and then touched a bed/toilet or whatever and then a female touched it and went toilet or whatever? I think the reason I feel it's different to my other questions is that if it was sperm, it was fresh and it was a relative sized amount (about the size of coin)?
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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Harmon,

We have already given you the information you need to be able to determine whether this is a risk or not. Can you take a look through our previous replies, as well as the links we have given you? Thank you.

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Robin

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