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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Pregnancy Likelihood? (Page 4)

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Author Topic: Pregnancy Likelihood?
Robin Lee
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HI There,

It sounds like you were experiencing a lot of panic when you were writing this. How are you feeling now?

We have gone over and over the facts with you, so this doesn't sound like somethng that is coming out of logical fears, but something that is coming out of panic.

Did you contact the sexual health clinic Heather suggested to you?

It sounds like you need to talk to someone, and since you're not at the point where you feel as if you can confide in friends, talking to a health care provider who is in the know seems like your best option.

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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Still panicked [Frown] im going to take another test on monday , then arrange to go to the GUM clinic heather suggested. i hate this.
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Robin Lee
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I'm glad to hear that you'll be making an appointment at the clinic.

do you have anyone in your life that you can turn to for support, even just to tell that you're having a hard time and really need some care and gentleness right now?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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noone who i feel comfortable with knowing that im worried about this [Frown]

yesterday and the day before i had some cramps, lots of thin, clear discharge and i felt abit sick, like i do when im ovulating. my boob also feels tender, like it does with PMS. could it be late ovulation?

im scared. more scared than i can cope with. i think i may have an anxiety disorder, ive felt like i have for a few years now, although its only since having sex that its flared up again. i dont want to seek counselling, as this will take me back to the dark place i was at a few yrs ago. [Frown]

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Stephanie_1
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I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a rough time with the anxiety right now. Is there something you do to relax, like taking a bath or spending time drawing reading painting nails, etc? It may be a good idea to focus a little time right now on trying to relax yourself because its going to help you with the anxiety in the meantime.

What you felt could have been ovulation but there's just no way to know for sure. Do you have someone you're close with and may be able to spend some time with just to get your kind off things a little bit? Like Robin said above even if its bit to tell them the worry but just that you need someone around right now?

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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Robin Lee
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HI There,

With this level of persistent anxiety, it's a really good idea to go talk with someone who can help you with it--a doctor, counsellor, or both. Do you have a doctor you could go talk to, just about the anxiety in general?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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No- i never have to o to the Dr usually because i never get ill [Razz] im scared to seek help. thatll mean that all this is real, is really happening. [Frown]
what do i say when i go to the GUM clinic?

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Robin Lee
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Well, it sounds like this panic is very real, and isn't going to go away.

As to what you say when you go to the clinic, what do you want to say? That is, how would you express how you're thinking/feeling right now and what you feel you need from a health care provider?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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i want someone non judgemental to just be there and tell me its okay [Frown]
im going to test again tomorrow- can i be sure the results will be accurate?

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Stephanie_1
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If you take the test correctly the results should be accurate, yes. And per going to the clinic, they're not there to judge you, just to make sure you get what help you need from them. As rob said with letting them know how you're feeling, it can help them make sure they're offer the personal/ emotional support you're needing now too with all this.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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Cherylcakes
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im scared ill be judged and made to feel so alone and scared, especially if the result is positive.
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Robin Lee
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As Heather said, you aren't likely to be judged at this clinic. Any sexual health clinic worth its salt isn't going to be judging people, particularly since they see people in all kinds of predicaments every day, as well as people coming in for routine health checks.

Even though it doesn't feel good, it's very easy to get into and get stuck in negative and harmful emotional patterns.

I think the first step to you getting yourself out of this loop of being scared is to call the clinic. What do you think?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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i feel like im about to have a breakdown. i feel paranoid and restless and more scared than i have in years. i want to walk down to the hospital and admit myself. i think i might have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or something, and there is noone here at home i can talk to.
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Robin Lee
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If you do feel like you're going to do yourself harm in any way, going to the hospital is the best course of action.

Do you have any techniques for calming yourself? People often find that slow, regular breathing can help. How is your self-care? Have you been eating and sleeping, or has the anxiety been interfering with that?

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Robin

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Robin Lee
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When you say you have no one at home who can help, do you mean that there's no one there, or that you're afraid to ask for help?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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i dont feel like im going to hurt myself, i just want some help [Frown] but i cant just go down the hospital, my family will know, theyre all here, and i couldnt bear it if they knew what im going through. i am afraid to ask for help from them, as i come from a semi religious background, i know that if they knew and i got a positive result theyd try and make me keep it. its best noone here knows, i dont want to ruin their lives aswell as mine.
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Robin Lee
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Okay, so what's your plan for getting through the next several hours until you can call and make an appointment at the clinic?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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tears, controlled breathing and sleep.
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Robin Lee
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Do you have any friends you can reach out to? I know you're not wanting to share why you're so anxious, but often we can tell good friends that we're just having a hard time and need some support, or maybe even some distraction.

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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i wouldnt know what to say :/
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Robin Lee
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Well, you could say "I'm having a really hard time. I don't know why, but I just can't stop crying and I just need a friend right now."

You don't have to copy those words exactly of course. There are many ways to ask people for help.

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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im scared that if it was a positive result this time wen i say i want an abortion ill be judged and treated badly by medical professionals [Frown]
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Robin Lee
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The clinic Heather referred you to won't do that.

Can you say why you're scared this might happen?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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because abortion is such a difficult subject, and i know its what would be best, but im scared of waiting for one, and afterwards. im scared ill be treated badly by the nhs and have a doctor who will do something wrong on purpose becuase theyre against it [Frown]
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Robin Lee
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Did Heather give you a web site for the clinic? If not, how about looking it up online and seeing what services they offer?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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i have looked it up, it doesnt really say much other than they aim to provide a friendly and non judgemental service, see all sorts of sexual/non sexual conditions in all sorts of ages.
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Robin Lee
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well, what I can tell you is that we here at Scarleteen don't support medical services that don't provide the full range of choices, or, if they don't provide them themselves, refer to other services that do. So, we're pretty darn unlikely to refer you to something that we felt wouldn't meet your needs in one way or another. [Smile]

Make sense?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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yes it does [Smile] thankyou for everything [Smile] are you around in the next few hours if i want to talk some more? would that be okay? [Smile]
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Robin Lee
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HI There,

Yes, I should be. I'm stepping away right now myself, but unless something happens I should be back.

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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i feel slightly calmer now having told you my real worries [Smile] can i tell you my test result tomorrow and know that you will offer me info and support whatever it is?
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Robin Lee
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Absolutely.

Are you also planning to make an appointment at the clinic?

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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Robin,

I've decided to take the test tomorrow instead- this morning i feel calmer and more focused after our talk last night. I know this may not be thr best idea but I've got someone coming round later and i wouldnt be able to cope if the result was positive and i had to spend a whole evening with them and not be able to say. Same goes for the appointment at the clinic.I know its probably a bad idea but its what I feel is best today [Smile]

also, i read something in the following thread which heather said about any bleeding during pregnancy is likely to be spotting, id just like to clarify: most bleeding during pregnancy (rare, but it happens!) is like spotting. when a woman has light periods anyway, this can be confused with a period. but most of the time, it will not be mistaken for a period becuase it is lighter spotting. and any bleeding during pregnancy which would happen with the implantation/ start of a pregnancy would be spotting. right? [Smile] http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/2/t/014101/p/1.html#000002

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Cherylcakes

[ 11-19-2012, 04:10 AM: Message edited by: Cherylcakes ]

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Robin Lee
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HI There,

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better today. Of course whatever you feel is best for yourself today is best for you. IN other words, you know yourself and what you need.

I would encourage you to start being proactive about things with the clinic though, and just make an appointment. Is the idea of calling and making an appointment scary? I suggest doing this because it's good to get in the habit of doing positive or helpful things for ourselves when we're feeling good, not just when we're in a place of crisis.

Just my two cents though, and by all means, enjoy your time with your guest and enjoy a day not worrying about any of this. [Smile] There's always tomorrow.

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Robin

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Cherylcakes
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hi, Robin [Smile]

today has been okay, theres still the feeling of dread lingering over me about tomorrow though. im scared. i hate thinkibg about my family in all this, i cannot bear it. the anxietys ok during the day, its manageable. then at night...i feel so alone. everyome else can sleep soundly, no idea whats going on witb their little girl, how scared i am inside, how soul destorying it would be to get a positive result [Frown]

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Heather
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You know, I think it might help -- maybe? -- to dial some of your panic back wome.

"Soul destroying" is one helluva description for an unintended pregnancy being verified.

Given, I think it's very clear by now that is not at all a likely scenario for you now, regardless, but it also sounds like you've built that outcome up as such a doomsday in your mind that it's probably producing a TON of anxiety that's only helping keep you both stressed and pretty divorced from reality here.

have you yet tried talking to any of your friends? If not, seriously, something has to give her if you want to change this situation so you don't stay stuck in it.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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