i'm going to college six hours away from home. i was super psyched because it meant going away from my parents, having my own life, and experiencing something new, but so far i can't stand it. i haven't been here that long, and i haven't even started classes, but i'm dreading it more than anything. i love to learn, and my classes seem interesting, but i can barely stand most of the people who go here. i have three room mates, and while they are all extremely nice, i feel overwhelmed sharing space with so many people. the rest of the people i've met seem stuck up at times, and i haven't had a single interesting conversation with anyone i've met. i did have one really fun night with a couple of friends, but so far that's it. i just don't feel like i belong, and that i have nothing in common with anyone. i'm starting to dread it more because i've been reading very negative reviews about the academics as well. i don't know what to do. i've already contacted all my friends at home due to homesickness, and i've already invited two to come visit me as soon as possible. i'm already planning on leaving for a weekend. i want to transfer, but i'm scared of it being the same all over again. i have a definite plan of getting an apartment next year, so maybe commuting will make it better. but if the academics end up being horrible, should i stick it out, or move on? i really just want to go home, but i don't know what to do :/
Posts: 13 | Registered: Aug 2011
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I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, girlofglass. Starting college, especially if you're living away from home for the first time, can be a huge transition, and even if you've been looking forward to it it can be tough. It can take time to meet people you really click with too, and sharing space with so many people can definitely be overwhelming if you're not used to it.
Starting classes often helps a lot with all of that, though - it's a great way to meet people who probably share at least some of your interests, and it will keep you busy, too. You can always check to see if your school has a counselling centre as well; most colleges and universities do and they're generally very well-equipped to help students deal with the transition to college, so if you want someone to talk to in person about this that would be a great place to start.
-------------------- "Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy Posts: 5319 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004
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Oopsies, karyn got to it first! That's what I get for writing too much
I would like to add though, that what worked for me, because I'm a very shy person, was pushing myself a little bit to find opportunities to make friends. I joined one of my university's groups that focused on a topic I was really passionate about, and that's where I met the girl who became my best friend. I also pushed myself to start up simple conversations with people in class, like "did you do this week's readings?" or something. And then after time, some really solid friendships developed So if you think that might work for you, I'd definitely suggest giving it a try!
Just wanted to add that your feelings regarding this huge life transition to college are totally normal, girlofglass! So no need to feel panicked about these feelings!
Many of the friends I made in college totally hated the first month or two- just because everything is so new and different, and honestly, it can seem so hard to make new friends, all from scratch! It can be even harder for the people (I was just like you too!) who build themselves up about the move and come into it with a high level of excitement- it's easy to forget when planning the change that college comes with a whole bunch of things that are going to be slowly adjusted to as well.
I agree with Onionpie and Karybu- it definitely will get easier as time goes on. Try going to some meetings of clubs that interest you, and take classes of interest- you never know which casual classroom exchanges could lead into something bigger. Real friendships take a while to grow, and that can definitely be frustrating (especially as socializing is a major part of life, and you were so excited to make the move to college)- but remember that that doesn't make them not worth waiting for. Good luck!
Posts: 170 | From: Northeast USA | Registered: Aug 2012
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