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Author Topic: bf may have hpv?
meladie
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so i'm with a guy right now. we have used condoms for intercourse but not oral. i asked him about stds when we first started having sex and he said he was clean.

a few months after we'd been sexually active he brings up the topic of getting me on bc so we could forgo condoms. then he tells me he could have hpv. his last gf apparently had it and he had unprotected sex with her anyway.

of course i was livid. this was unfair and dishonest. i'm now on the depo shot for other reasons. what is the likelihood that he could be infected? it's stupid for me to have unprotected sex, right? he was tested last week and came in clean, but guys can't be tested for hpv. not sure what to do here. i take health really seriously and i don't want to take chances.

Posts: 15 | From: indiana | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Ideally, before we have unprotected sex with a partner, we want to at least talk about their 9and our) STI history and history with testing. Even better, to do the best we can with STI prevention, we want to use barriers for any oral, anal or vaginal sex for at least the first six months, and if we are exclusive during that time, then each get tested again, and only then talk about going without barriers. So, yes, you took risks here.

Mind, HPV is one of the two STIs where barriers still offer a lot of protection, but more like 70%, versus the 90% or so they offer from infections transmitted by fluids, and where a barrier not covering the whole genital area isn't an issue. So, even with protection, you'd have been at risk -- just like with any partner, not just thins one -- but far less of one.

You're right: he can't be tested for HPV. HPV is so common, any of us should always figure we're at risk of getting it if we haven't already, but in this case, its clear you have been and will be, should you keep having sex with this person, taking high risks, given the history and his not using barriers in the past. If you do change your habits and use barriers with him -- including for oral -- you radically reduce your risks, but you'll have some risk, still.

So, what do you want to do?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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