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Author Topic: Boyfriend can't stay erect?
xoxointheknow
Neophyte
Member # 43049

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My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for two years. The first time we tried to have sex (about 5 weeks ago) he was erect the whole time we ere kissing but when I stopped kissing him to but on the condom his penis becomes soft and shrinks to less than 3 inches in length. Its embarrassing for him because he doesn't know whats going on.

We tried the next day (5 weeks ago) and it did the same thing, but it became erect again after about ten minutes. [this was both of our first times]

Yesterday the same thing happened, and after about 30 minutes it was still soft and short. It makes him very upset and confused, especially since he wants to have sex with me, and his body is not agreeing with him.

Its hard for me to understand as well, especially since he can stay erect for a very long time when teased and receiving blow jobs. It is concerning that he has never came. Im starting to think that these things may correlate?

I don't know if he masturbates.

I am the first girl he has ever done anything sexual with, or even kissed, so I don't know if this is something that happens because he's trying so hard not to mess up?

He has a very healthy diet. Works out. I thought it attributed to the coolness of the basement we were in (5 weeks ago) but it happens even in warm environments (it was very warm in the basement yesterday)

I want to figure out what exactly is going on so that I can better comfort and explain it to him,and fix it if I can.

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~Peace

Posts: 7 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Bodies aren't machines, and sometimes they don't do what we expect of them. That can be uncomfortable sometimes, but it's really very normal and nothing to be embarrassed about.

If he's just starting to gather his first sexual experiences, then nerves likely play a part. Have you two talked about this? Have you let him know that there is no pressure, and that it's perfectly okay if he can't stay erect?

Do you know if he is up to date with his physicals? If he can stay erect during other activities, it's unlikely that this is is a physical issue, but it's still a good idea to have regular check-ups. And maybe discussing this with a doctor will make him feel better about himself.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xoxointheknow
Neophyte
Member # 43049

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its embarrassing for him because it has happened every time we've attempted to have sex.

We've talked about it briefly. It upsets him to talk about. But yes, I have let him know its no pressure, and I encourage and support him when it happens.

He have a clean bill of health, and has had checkups a lot since he's going into the army in a few months.
He more so wants to understand more why it happens.

--------------------
~Peace

Posts: 7 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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You say it has happened "every time" you have tried, but from what you said above, you have tried this twice, yes? So, it's really nothing to sweat. You're trying out something brand new, you still need to get into the groove and get comfortable, and you're probably still both dealing with some nervousness. That's really all par for the course.

The best you can both do is calm down and go at your own pace. If he can maintain his erection, great. If he can't, so what? There's plenty of other sexual activities you can engage in together.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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