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Author Topic: Scared of Squirting: 3 Questions
tryingtobewise
Neophyte
Member # 96130

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My boyfriend and I are very open and honest in the bedroom, so there are few things that feel off limits or scary to me even when I would be nervous to experience these things on my own. The other day we were beginning to use toys and things and in the process I "squirted". He was super supportive and generally un-phased... we were both fairly surprised, and to be honest it was fairly shocking to me. I even cried after.

I have a couple questions for whoever knows because I trust this site more than just about anything else I find online:

1. What exactly is it that comes out? I know it's not pee, but where does it come from?

2. Do I know that this is going to happen before it does? I'm thinking maybe because it was my first time I wasn't able to predict the feeling, but maybe I will now?

3. I'm afraid to have an orgasm now because I don't want to make a mess like that every time... is there anything I can do to predict or prevent it?

Posts: 5 | From: NY | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi tryingtobewise,

No, it's not pee, though will often have traces of urine in it. The jury is still out on exactly what it is and where it comes from. Many believe it comes from the para-urethral glands.
It sounds from what you say here as if you were experimenting with some new things. It may take you a while to figure out what makes you squirt and what doesn't and then, if you wish, you can avoid the things that do make you squirt. Likewise, you will likely get to know how it feels if you're going to squirt and change things up before you do. This is probably going to be more of a process than an instant "Oh, now I know how it feels".

I'm not sure based on what you've written here: Is squirting something you don't like, or are you afraid of the mess? If it's the mess that concerns you, putting down a few towels reserved for that purpose would likely ease your mind considerably.

You may also find it helpful to take a look at this article.


Squirt: On Female Ejaculation

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tryingtobewise
Neophyte
Member # 96130

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Honestly, I don't know if I like it or not, and I was so shocked and a little scared that i was a bit of a scarring experience. For now it makes me feel like my body isn't in my control and that's an uncomfortable idea to me. I like the feeling, but I want to know more to be comfortable with it, and it seems like everything I read treats it like some big mystery which is exactly what scares me. I've read that article and as helpful as it was what I'm finding out is that there aren't outside answers to my questions it seems, and that this is going to be a little harder to accept about my body than I otherwise predicted. I'll just have to figure it out slowly so I can make it less scary. I just wanted to see how much there was for me to learn about it so I could be as comfortable as possible with it.
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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It is for sure scary when our bodies do new things that we don't quite feel we can control. I'm not sure if this is how you're feeling, but just to put it out there, it can also be freaky for some people because we have it so firmly ingrained in us that we're not supposed to pee ourselves that even though squirting isn't pee, and even though it mostly happens in a fun, pleasurable context, it still feels uncomfortable.

As with many sexual things, there really isn't one answer, and really will be a discovery process for you. It sounds like your partner is very supportive of this.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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