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Author Topic: Sick of Worrying
copper86
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Hi;

I'm sorry to post another withdrawal bleed post, but I think I need some reassurances from neutral parties, since my own reassurances aren't helping me much anymore.

I haven't had any kind of sexual contact this month. The last time I had vaginal intercourse was June 10th, and after two negative pregnancy tests, I got a 6- or 7-day period June 28th to July 4th. My period usually comes on a Tuesday (the last day of my active pills) or Thursday - usually Thursday morning or afternoon. I know my bleed won't come around the same hour every month, just like it won't come the same day every month, but the wait is exasperating. I've experienced cramps just like other cycles (maybe a bit less) and a ton more painful, sick-like cramps in the past few days (a sign my bleed is coming); but my bleed still hasn't shown up yet.

I've read the "Dude, Where's My Period?" article again, and that provided me with some relief. How common is it to miss a bleed while on birth control? I don't think I've missed a period in the past five years. I try to remind myself that two negative test results and a period last month mean that a late period is nothing to be concerned about; but I'm just so angry about this. I literally hate this time of the month because even if I haven't done anything, I worry if my bleed is late.

Would last-minute stress delay a period? I know how you manage stress could affect it; but would differing sleep patterns and crying do anything?

So, angry and whiny rant aside, I guess I'd just like some assurances. I read in your article that thousands of periods go missing every month; so I'm trying not to panic. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

[ 07-26-2012, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: copper86 ]

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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Hey Copper,

Here, have some hugs if you want them.

Really, thousands of periods and withdrawal bleeds do go missing every month. Mine are sometimes among them. I think they go to that place where single socks go, leaving us and their sock mates to wonder what on Earth happened.

Quite seriously though, you have nothing to worry about. Even while on birth control there are tons of chemical things going on in our bodies that can interact with everything, including, to some extent, our withdrawal bleeds.

It's hard to say whether recent stress could affect things or not...again, all those chemical and hormonal processes that we really can't measure without blood tests or understand without a medical degree.

This is just a guess, but I'm wondering if your feeling so stressed about this is an extention of the relationship anxiety you were discussing in your other post today.

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Robin

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copper86
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Thank you so much for your support, Robin. It's just that I've never, ever missed a bleed on birth control before; and that prospect alone scares me. But I'm assuming that anyone can miss a period like this, even if that has never happened to them before.

I still feel like I'll start soon; especially since my cramps haven't gone away and I keep getting false alarms. The latest I've started on the pill is Friday (day 3 of my inactive week), but that was with another pill brand.

Yes, this is also an extension of my relationship anxiety. I was already nervous about my bleed before that conversation happened last night; and when it did, it sure didn't help things.

I've been eating more regularly this month or at least eating more in general (I tend to skip meals sometimes and drink less fluids) and have been drinking more. I've experienced small bounts of stress during the month; and I know all these things can make a bleed late or missed. I've just always associated a missed bleed or period with something wrong... And I've gotten bleeds even during the most stressful points of my life during pill use (exams, thesis, relationship stress), so I don't understand how some mild stress can delay it. But I know that that could be explained by the chemical processes in the body, like you said earlier. I just hate waiting like this. Your post made me feel a lot better and much more normal - thank you very much!

[ 07-26-2012, 08:22 PM: Message edited by: copper86 ]

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Robin Lee
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Sometimes, the only way to explain it is that our bodies are persnickety and like to play tricks on us.

Cramps sound like a pretty good indication that your withdrawal bleed is on its way.

Take a deep breath and hang on.

--------------------
Robin

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copper86
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I'm hoping that it what it is, because what my body is doing is not normal. One good thing about last night was that I saw my partner; and for the second time ever, we were able to engage in anal sex fully, and it was cool. I was surprised that it didn't hurt much at all.

I was getting impatient this morning, so I took a pregnancy test just to be sure; and it came out negative. It would be at its most accurate, since it's not 1-4 days before my expected period. I still have painful cramps like I'd always get before my bleed. If I end up not getting it, is that symptomatic of a problematic issue? I know it's "normal" for people to skip periods, but this has never, never happened to me. I'm so scared.

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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copper86
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I got my bleed around 9:30 this morning... My relief was overwhelming. I still have pretty bad cramps, but I'm ecstatic! It hasn't been this late in over a year! My last cycle was 32 days, the one before that was 25... Could my cycle be trying to even itself out, or is this just lateness due to random bodily functions and stress? Thank you for your continual support and compassion, Robin. I'd hug you if I could!

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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copper86
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I thought that since I got my bleed, my brain would just shut up and I'd be okay; but after three days of heavy to regular flow and now one day of spotting, I'm pretty nervous. It's not abnormal for my flow to taper off after the fourth day, and I know bleeds can vary in number of days and level of flow; but I'm still pretty peeved. The only sex I had, if it matters, was anal sex on Thursday night (the day before my period started), and he never ejaculated. I know that incident has nothing to do with my period, but my brain is getting fried with all this worry.

I'm not sure if this matters, either, but two months ago, my cycle was only 25 days long; the next month, it was 32, and now, it was 30. I was kind of assuming that my body's trying to adjust after that really weird cycle; so could my bleed now be a result of that? Also, I start my new pack of pills two days from now; so (and this might sound stupid, so I apologize in advance for this) is one's body so used to being in the same routine of a set pill start date that the bleed will eventually taper off after a certain number of days?

I hate feeling this way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything because of my bleed. And I hate being so obsessed with it, because I know it will vary from month to month... But I'm just so annoyed. Maybe all that and the stress of waiting for it to come is making it do this. I'm so sorry for posting again - I just needed to get this out somehow.

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Robin Lee
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Hi Copper,

NO need to apologize. It's clear that you're really struggling with this, and I'm trying to think of ways to help you stop worrying so much.

Nothing you've described about your withdrawal bleed sounds abnormal or unusual. I think you know that though, so this doesn't appear to be the root of your struggle. I can't remember: how long have you been on the pill? There are people who find that their bleeds are lighter while taking the pill.

Hmm....

Do you have anyone in your life who you can talk to about this? That's not to say that you can't come here to talk, of course, only that it's helpful to have multiple sources of support.

I'm also wondering when this anxiety around your bleed started.

And....take a deep breath. I know you don't feel like it, but you really are okay.

--------------------
Robin

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copper86
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I think I'm just so used to thinking "X" is normal. I usually have a 7 day bleed, but since starting this brand of the pill, it can be 6-8 days. I get scared when there are variations; like today, when I suddenly go from a light flow to just some spotting, and it's only the fourth day. I feel like if my bleed is acting different, then maybe something is wrong. I think one thing (but not the first thing) that led me to be very anxious around my bleeds and their characteristics was one time I called Telehealth. I told the nurse that my bleed was a bit late, but that I'd had a regular period last month and had had anal sex that past month. He pretty much told me that if my period was a bit different, maybe I could actually be pregnant. Since I didn't know a lot about implantation bleeding, I was so terrified. Of course, he neglected to tell me (which I know now but didn't know then) how rare it was, how it would be spotting and not a full period, how it would last 1-3 days and not 6-8, and that it would probably not come around my withdrawal bleed time. I'm not sure if that is the sole cause for me being anxious about my bleeds, but I think it had an enormous effect on me.

I've been on the pill for about 2 years and 2 months, and with this brand, I do notice that even if my periods are 7 days long, they taper off (usually) around day 4 or 5.

I don't really know when my anxiety around my bleeds started, but I think it might have been the first time I had sex. We used the pill and withdrawal as a back-up (although this was before I even knew that withdrawal counted as a method of protection, and I didn't know much about anything like that); but I was so stressed that month, fearing I'd be pregnant. I also switched pills around that time due to bad breakthrough bleeding; so I've always been used to my bleeds showing up early, and not often within my placebo week. So I think those two situations made me very anxious.

Not too many people know I'm on the pill or anything about this, so I feel like my options for other outlets are limited. There is one friend from school that I can discuss things with, and I've done that a time or two; but though we're close, I feel embarrassed asking her for help about this.

Thank you so, so much for your reassurances. I guess my bleeds are just as weird as I am. [Smile] I'll try not to panic... I think I overreacted too and thought that four days after anal sex, my bleed slows down; but I know that is not at all the cause. I like to know the answers and reasons for everything, or to at least not be confused; so that could be another reason why I'm struggling. Thank you so much for reading this long post! I truly appreciate it.

[ 07-30-2012, 09:35 PM: Message edited by: copper86 ]

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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