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Author Topic: Maybe a Risk? Then 2 Periods? Should I worry?
girl10
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On April 28th, two days after the end of my period my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I gave him a hand job and a blow job. It was the very first time I had done this, let alone seen an actual penis in person. I thought I was ready but now I know I am not. Anyways, he did not have a full ejaculation. He wasn't even close. And he says that he hadn't at all that day. Anyways there was precum present. Once I was done he put his penis back in his pants and zipped them up. Then a few minutes later he began to rub my vagina on the outside of my pants. Then about 3-5 minutes after rubbing he, reached into my pants and rubbed my clitoris then my vagina. There was no penetration, but I was very wet. My concern is what if when he touched his penis to put it up(he says he only touched the base of it)he may have touched some precum as well? He thinks he is pretty positive his hands were dry. But what if he even had a tiny little bit? Did I have a risk? I know I ovulated 9 days later on the 8th of May, I know this because the change of my cervical mucus and I got a little cramp in my side. Plus my fertility calendar said this would be the most likely day to ovulate. Would the sperm still be present if there was any? I then got what I think was my period on the 18th. My cycle is between 29-32 days. This was the 29th day. It lasted for 6 days, the first 3 days were heavy as usual then it became lighter. It used to last for 7 days but it recently changed to 6 so that didn't concern me. Now I started this months period yesterday, the exact day my fertility calendar said it should start(30 days after my last). It was hard to tell when I ovulated this month because on the 2nd and 4th of this month my cervical mucus was clear slippery and strechy(didnt break apart right away when I pulled it between my fingers) on both of these days, and I had cramps both of these days. I am sure I was ovulating. I think these are my periods, but somehow I am still convinced I experienced a pregnancy risk and this could just be decidual bleeding? My mom told me not to worry, that I would know if I were pregnant, and she honestly believes I didn't have a riskk and that I am overeacting,and she says taking a test would be stupid because I am not pregnant. Could I still be though? I read somewhere that supposedly a girl had her period and she didnt know she was pregnant until three months later when she started gaining weight. I keep checking my stomach and sometimes I convince myself it is getting better. Am I ok? Or should I still be concerned about pregnancy? By the way I have had very regular period for almost a year now. I can always tell when they are coming. I get a few zits, sometimes my back hurts, I get cramps, then I get moody, and then my discharge increases a bit. I have experienced all these symtoms these last two times. Oh by the way I get headaches a lot, they say this could be a pregnancy symtom, but I always get headaches, I even had a catscan because of them. So they can't be because of pregnancy right? Can someone please help me I am a wreck.: /
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Robin Lee
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Hi girl10 and welcome to Scarleteen.

First, let me say that it's super awesome that you can talk to your Mom about this. Yay you and yay for your Mom. [Smile]

Getting two periods when you expect them is a very good sign that you're not pregnant, as is the fact that what you described here isn't a pregnancy risk.

For more information on why and how this isn't a pregnancy risk, take a look at these articles:

Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

Pregnancy Scared?

I'd also like to check in about whether you and your boyfriend have had STI testing. The kind of sexual activity you describe here doesn't pose pregnancy risks, but it does pose some STI transmission risks.

You mentioned that you realized you're not ready for sexual activity of this nature. Have you and your boyfriend talked about this/made decisions together about what kinds of sexual activities you'll engage in?

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Robin

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girl10
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Thank you so much for replying quickly! You guys do an amazing job on this website! And yeah, thank you my mom and I are pretty close. It helps! ha Thank you, I feel so much better. I just get very paranoid and I start thinking about the "what ifs?" I am so happy to know that this was not a pregnancy risk, I read the articles thank you!! As for the STI I am more then positive I do not have any, I have only been sexually active with two boys the boy before did not have any and as for my boyfriend now he has been tested. He is in the guard so they have to be tested. My boyfriend and I are both virgins, meaning we have never had sexual intercourse. We both have strong views about waiting until marriage. And yes we have talked about this. He felt horrible, he explained he did not want to pressure me to do anything and he apologized, he said he wished he had never let me do anything to him.(he has performed manual sex on me a multiple of times that did not bother me, it was just my first time seeing a penis.) I explained to him that I would like to stop all sexual activity from here on out until I am ready and fully educated. He is perfectly fine with it. And completely understands. I told him this right after the incident and our relationship hasn't changed. ha. We respect one anothers descisions always and completely. Throughout this entire time he has reasured me that I am okay, but he has also helped me by just listening to me. We are perfectly comfortable with eachother, so talking about these kinds of things is easy for us. Once again thank you SO much, I just get worked up and nervous. I also read A LOT of different things on the internet and got scared. Like how I mentioned how this girl experienced bleeding and didn't know she was pregnant until three months later when she started gaining weight. I got scared and my mom said that people who don't know they are pregnant are crazy, because I guess you JUST KNOW? Is this true?
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Onionpie
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hey girl10, glad to hear you're feeling better, and that you've talked about holding off on sexual activities until you're totally comfortable with it!

I do want to just let you know that you really can't be sure that you have no STIs unless you yourself have been tested. So even though your risk for STIs may be very low, I'd still suggest going and getting tested, and actually getting tested regularly; every year and with every new sexual partner is the usual recommendation.

There are a lot of stories all over the internet; unfortunately, we can never know to what extent they are truthful. They can leave out important details, exaggerate, or completely make things up. So you really can't trust stories you read online. I would suggest only looking for this kind of information on reputable sites; medical and health sites will have more accurate information.

While some people do experience bleeding during a pregnancy, it is pretty uncommon, and furthermore, it is pretty obviously not a period. If someone gets bleeding that is the same flow, lasts the same amount of time, and comes at the same time that a period is due... you can safely assume it's a period [Wink]

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girl10
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How do I go about getting tested? Can it be done privately? Meaning that no one has to know about it? How do they test for STIs? Do they just take blood? And one more question, lol, sorry, but while I am much more relaxed after hearing that what I experienced was not a pregnancy risk, I still get nervous by even just being 5 feet around guys, and I have started obsessing about my weight. Like i posted earlier before I came here to seek an answer I was convinced my belly was growing so I started to weigh myself constantly. Sometimes during the day I would 111 then later I would be 114. My weight has always been between 114 and 120. But now I weigh less. I know this is due to stress, from worrying about pregnancy. Yesterday I weighed 108. Even though I have been assured that what I experienced was not a pregnancy risk I am still afraid to eat a lot like I normaly due because I will gain weight, and then I know I will start to worry again. My question is do you have any advice for me? How can I overcome my scare? My mom has been a lot of help, she tells me not to worry that I am fine. The thing is I know I am but there is still that stupid little voice in the back of my head telling me to worry. Any advice would be greatly appriciated. Thank you, all of you once again.
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Robin Lee
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Hi There,

First of all, you can get tested at your doctor's office or at a sexual health clinic. Different STIs require different testing, usually through blood and urine tests. Have you ever had a gynecological exam before?

Most people's weight changes throughout the day, so the scale saying something different at the end of the day than it did at the middle of the day is pretty typical.

Have you talked to your Mom about your worries about your weight?

Have you ever had anything before that you were anxious about or oworried over like this?

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Robin

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girl10
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Sorry, one more question. I am one my period for this month as well. Today will be the third day of my cycle. During April and May my period was really heavy the first 2-3 days, with severe cramps. My period sometimes used to change every month. Meaning that one month it would be heavy, then the next it would be lighter. This month when I started my period it came with really bad cramps and started really heavy then as the day went in it became lighter. Yesterday and today have been light. There is also a lot of brown discharge though. But there is still dark red blood just not as much as usual. And I don't have cramps anymore. I had a little bit of cramps yetsterday. It's just that I am so used to lots of bleeding the first few days and horrible cramps. And I did not have a pregnancy risk this month that I can really think of. Because everytime I have been with my boyfriend our clothes have been on. Ha, and all we have done is make out. Even if he were to ejaculate I know that would not pose a pregnancty risk because semen can not penetrate through clothing. I'm sorry. I am just overreacting about having a lighter period aren't I? Once again I am sorry.
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girl10
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Sorry, I just recieved your reply to my last post. And Yes I told my mom how I started to weigh myself because I was worried about pregnancy. She told me the same thing about how your weight can change. Hers does the same thing all the time. She has been assuring me that everything is okay and that I am overreacting. I have been worried/anxious this bad about things before. When I first started my period I got it one month then it didn't come the next month. I was convinced I was pregnant, even though I had never even kissed a boy before! I worried for a week, and was so stressed out when I finally talked to my mom and she explained that was normal for periods to be irregular when you first start them. The next thing I worried about was when I first started using tampons. I convinced myself that I had TSS. I thought I was experiencing all the symtoms. I had myself convicned for a month or a little over. Once again my mom helped me through this. When I was younger I used to go to counseling, as my father physically abused us. Then eventually after maybe a few visits the counselor said I was fine and didn't have to go anymore, my brother and mom were the only ones who had to continue going. My mom says I need to learn to stop worrying, or I will get horrible anxiety issues like her. I have talked to her about going back to therapy now because I feel I AM starting to get anxiety issues, but she says not right now. To wait and try on my own first to learn to relax, and not to worry about the "what ifs" and to talk to her when I need too. Talking to her does help me.Oh and No I have never had a gynecological exam before. Should I? What do they do?
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Robin Lee
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I just asked about the gynecological exam because a doctor might need to do one as part of a STI screening.

How do you feel you're doing with being able to relax? You sound pretty anxious about a lot of things right now. I'm really glad to hear your Mom is so helpful. Sometimes, going to counselling before things get really bad can help people learn the strategies they need to deal with anxiety. I understand that your Mom is in charge of that decision right now, but I do encourage you to talk to her about it again if you're just feeling too anxious. Have you told her the things you've told us here, about your fears of gaining weight and your fears of becoming pregnant even though you know it isn't possible?

...and yes, having your period be different this month isn't anything to worry about. [Smile]

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Robin

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girl10
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I am relaxing a little bit. I am still having some trouble though. And yes I have told her about all of my fears. I actually just got done talking with her again before I read this. Ha. I think I am so scared is because a bunch of girls I know that are around my age are getting pregnant. I just don't want that to happen to me. My family wouldbe so dissapointed. My grandparents would never speak to me again, and they mean the world to me. Also, everyone expects so much out of me... I have been top student in my class since kindergarten, and I should be valedictorian if all goess well my first semester of this upcoming school year. I have so many goals that I have yet to accomplish, and I do not need this in my way. I do not want to be viewed as some silly girl who turned out just like the wrest of the wild ones. My mom just told me once more that for me to get pregnant I would have to have sexual intercourse to for sure have a risk, or direct genitial to genitial contact. And even then with direct contact pregnancy is possible but not all likely. She said that when the incident first happened and I told her she wasn't at all worried. She said that I should have been relieved as soon as my first period came, and now that I have gotten my second one I definately have nothing to worry about. I talked to her about it being lighter as well and she said that's normal and should not be a concern as you have mentioned:) And she said that those girls who are pregnant have had intercourse, I have not. As for the weight gain, she has lectured me. ha. She says I need to stop. Because I am not pregnant and to re-continue eating normaly. My weight has never really concerned me in general before. I am a small girl, and I take completely after my mom. She is tiny!! Even thought my fears have been confirmed(as I have been assured by my mom, a very sexually educated friend, her sister who has two kids, and her aunt who used to deliver babies(she told me that it would be EXTREMELY unlikely for me to get pregnant from my incident) and now you guys, I still worry. I am sorry but I just want to ask again, it is impossible for me to get pregnant from the situtaion described, and now that I have had two periods I am DEFINATELY ok? Oh and I would like to apologize for posting those two separate posts. I was not trying to "bump" anything. My computer had not loaded the page right so I did not see your reply, so I ended up writing two things instead of one.
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Onionpie
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Hi girl10. Your mom sounds really informed and helpful, it's really cool that you have a mother who's willing to talk to you candidly about this!

I don't really think you need us to answer that question for you again, as, like you said, you've had several reliable resources tell you whether there was a pregnancy risk. The answer should be pretty clear by now [Smile]

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girl10
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Ha yeahhhh: ) Thank you guys for everything I am begining to relax A LOT more ha But I do have a question concerning periods. My mom and I were talking about this today and she couldn't remember, all she knows is that it is normal. My period like I mentioned is much lighter this month, but I have also been experiencing more brown discharge then usual. What does this mean? Like what IS the brown discharge?
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Robin Lee
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The brownish color is from old blood, as opposed to fresh blood. All part of the uterine lining, and no, nothing to worry about. [Smile]

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Robin

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girl10
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Hi again!: ) You more then likely think I am crazy as I am soooooo paranoid!!! ha I will say though that I AM doing much better. Do you have any suggestions though as what I can do to relax? My period should start within the next week and a half and I am getting anxious again lol Yet, I feel like I am pretty in tune with my body and I know when I am nearing my period. Do you have any suggestions on how I can deal with my anxiety? Oh I also commented on a topic a little bit ago, the girl described a situation simmilar to mine and I was just curios to know she is handling it, is that ok that i commented? I don't really know the rules as i am new. If it is not I will deleate right away!
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Heather
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(Hey girl10: as it says on the forum index page, this area is one for users to post in who want staff or volunteer replies ONLY. Thanks!)

[ 07-06-2012, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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girl10
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I am so sorry!!! I completely missed that!!! I feel horrible. It will not happend again...I tried deleating the post but it will not let me. I am so sorry! How can I deleate it? I am so sorry.
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Robin Lee
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Don't worry about it. [Smile] As I suggested in another thread, you could start a thread in the "support group" forum if you'd like.

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Robin

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