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We get many, many posts from users experiencing pregnancy scares. As well, with many of these posts either a) users have had no real risk of pregnancy, or b) when users have had a risk, they will simply need to wait things out a bit and take a pregnancy test.
Because our resources are very limited, and our site is so busy, we ask users to please walk themselves through these five steps first BEFORE posting about a pregnancy scare. If you have already posted and we have given you this link, please go through these five steps before posting further. Thank you!
If not, please take the time to first go through it.
If per that article, what you are concerned about is NOT stated to be a viable pregnancy risk, please do not post asking about your pregnancy risk-that-isn't.
2. If, after reading that piece, you HAVE had a likely pregnancy risk, has it been less than 120 hours or five days after your risk? If so, and you do not want to become pregnant, you can reduce your risk with Emergency Contraception (Plan B or the Morning-After-Pill).
If you need help finding or accessing the MAP/EC, we can help you with that, and can also answer any questions you may have about it. You can also use our database here to look for a local provider, or can use the Princeton EC site to look for more providers OR to find out if your birth control pills, if you use them, can be used as an emergency contraceptive: http://ec.princeton.edu/get-ec-now.html
3. If, after reading the Pregnancy Scared piece, you HAVE had a likely pregnancy risk, but it has been more than 120 hours or five days after your risk, you will need to wait and take a pregnancy test.
Only a test can tell you if you have or have not become pregnant: we simply cannot know that. The earliest you can take most tests and get accurate results is EITHER when your period is late (more than a few days after you expect it) or missed OR when it has been at least two weeks since your last risk, whichever comes first. We know how much waiting to be able to test can suck, but that's just the way it goes.
One thing that can be useful to do while waiting, and can help to pass the time, is to reevaluate your method(s) of contraception or your sexual choices. If you're not using any method, we can help you through your options. If you just don't feel ready for any of this, or have a partner or partners who won't cooperate with preventing pregnancy, we can talk you through that, too. The point is, this is a good time to check in with yourself about if the level of risk you've been taking is really something you want and feel comfortable with. And doing that, and then making different choices as need be, can help you avoid being in this spot again.
4. If, after reading that piece, you know, according to what it says, there has NOT been a pregnancy risk, but you feel convinced that you are at risk, chances are your worries are bigger than really being about a possible pregnancy. Perhaps you need to fill in some of your sex education: we are happy to give you more links or answer questions about reproduction and pregnancy risk reducation. Perhaps you need to rethink your sexual choices or relationships: often if we don't feel right about sex or a partner, we can easily put those worries unto something external, like a possible pregnancy: we can help with that, too.
Maybe you are freaked out because you are reading endless stuff on the 'net about the gazillion strange ways someone can become pregnant according to people only identifying themselves with Yahoo handles. In that case, we are glad to debunk misinformation any articles here don't already cover, but also advise you do yourself a favor and step AWAY from the search engines. There is a LOT of misinformation about everything on the internet, including pregnancy.
Perhaps you are having anxiety issues, or know you do have an anxiety disorder already. That is actually outside what we can help you with, so we suggest talking to a therapist you are already seeing, or seeking one out.
Maybe you just want someone to talk to, period, about your sex life or sexual choices. We're glad to do that, and no one needs to come to us in crisis for us to do that with them or to get our attention. But we also ask that you please do not engage us in long conversations of having to try and convince you that you have not had a risk or are not pregnant: that really is asking too much of our services.
5. Take ten big breaths. Seriously, please take them before posting, no matter what.
Pregnancy scares are often very stressful, and being afraid of pregnancy even when you have found out you really haven't had a real risk can still feel scary. But when people are panicked, it's awfully hard to have a productive conversation. Please do what you can for yourself to calm down before posting here, and please be patient and considerate if and when we set any limits around these conversations.
Again, thank you! And do hang in there: this, too, shall pass, and you will get through this. All of us who have been there ourselves have.
Note: Please also remember our "three-strikes" rule here, mentioned in the user registration agreement. That is: if a user posts with a pregnancy scare three or more times but keeps doing the same things we've advised against, or keeps making the choice to be at risk when we have taken the time to provide help on how NOT to take those risks, we will no longer talk with them about pregnancy scares. That's an essential limit for us in order to best use our limited resources and staff, and also keeps things the most fair for all of our users: it's not fair to others for us to keep focusing on any one user when they're dedicated to dismissing the help and advice we give.
Everyone has the right to make their own choices around what risks of pregnancy they take, but if a person chooses to keep taking big risks, or to keep making sexual choices they are not comfortable with, it's not our job to keep trying to sell them on different ones or to talk them off a ledge every time. If and when you find you are resistant to making anything but the same choices, then part of that means living with the same outcomes. Thanks.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.
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