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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Pregnancy Tests-My clinic is being unhelpful. (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Pregnancy Tests-My clinic is being unhelpful.
hello kitteh
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Yes, I am. I am already feeling much better, as I read on your site that any more than one thin layer is enough to stop precum. I guess it just really concerned me that the thin fabric got wiped across (and maybe in) my vagina and vulva that was against his penis, even though his penis was covered with his underwear and shorts, even though the shorts were kinda thin.
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Robin Lee
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No, sperm from pre-ejaculate or ejaculate can't penetrate fabric. It just can't.

So you're educating yourself by talking to us and reading the information on our Web site. You're going to talk to your therapist about the anxiety you experience when you're sexually active with your boyfriend and when you think about possible pregnancy. What else do you plan to do moving forward with this?

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Well, currently I'm working on changing my boyfriend and I's relationship to a much, much slower one. We hardly do anything anymore. But we've replace sexual activities with more bonding ones, like playing sports together or going to movies, and also limiting our time alone.
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Robin Lee
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Yay for other bonding activities. What a great idea!

How is this working out for you and your boyfriend?

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Really good:) It's just that my phobia is so bad I'm afraid to hug him:'( It makes me so sad.
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hello kitteh
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Also, I have a fear of transferring semen. I guess it's cause everytime we're kissing or making out my palms get sweaty and I'm afraid I won't be able to tell my sweat from his semen (even though he's wearing pants and underwear). I'm mainly worried right n ow because I accidentally touched the outside of his pants where his penis was hard for a few minutes while kissing and then used my phone. I didn't wash my hands until afterwards. Then I grabbed my phone and used it right before I wiped myself while going to the bathroom, and touched my vulva. Then later I was using my phone and then masturbated. I'm terrified by using my phone in between these things I'm transporting semen with me everywhere. ridiculous, I know.
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Robin Lee
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Sperm is not bacteria or chemical warfare; it just can't hang around like that waiting to do something bad.


Were you able to get in touch with your therapist?

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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No, see the thing is, I have a "therapist" through school but she is VERY overworked. So she reccomended me to another behavioral therapy place but so far they won't take any of my calls.

So about sperm life, I've always wondered, sperm can't live without semen right? Like it can't be transferred to another liquid. If it were to get wiped off in water that sat around on a counter for days, how long would it live?

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Robin Lee
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No, no other liquid provides life for sperm. So a semen smear wiped off with anything...well, the anything isn't going to provide life to the sperm. Just not possible.

Behaviourl therapy has been shown to be very effective for anxiety. Keep calling them! [Smile]

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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So if I just rinse my hands off and they had somehow gotten semen on them, and water from rinsing my hands pooled up on the edge of the sink, would there be viable sperm in that water since it's wet and not going to dry anytime soon?

Also, I just realized the entire time I've been with my boyfriend, I've never washed my hands before using the bathroom. We're always holding hands, sometimes I end up touching his pants where his penis is. And then I go to the bathroom and end up touching my vulva, or sometimes I've masturbated after touching him, not on his bare genitals, but holding hands, hugging, etc. He almost always get turned on when we kiss, so I assume he could have precum, and then he always puts his hands in his pockets. I realized, I don't know when he could have touched himself last, and then I'm touching him, and then touching my vulva/putting fingers in my vagina. Was that stupid of me? I realize i's probably very unhygenic but is there a pregnancy risk?

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Robin Lee
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I need to let you know that I'm hearing your anxiety talking more than anything. The questions you're asking here are the same ones that we've been discussing above.

There are two ways a pregnancy risk can occur:

1. Through contact between a bare penis and a bare vulva; this contact could be rubbing, vaginal intercourse, or anal intercourse.
2. Contact between freshly ejaculated semen and a bare vulva.

Are you describing either of these scenarios?

About hand-washing, here's a fabulous article that talks all about it. [Smile] Can you read this, please?

The Simple And Underrated Art Of Washing Your Hands

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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I have read that article before:) So basically even if semen was miraculously still wet, it wouldn't be viable for hours after it was ejaculated, because being in the air would cause it to die?

I also just realized that when my boyfriend and I hug, we hug so close his penis is against me. I wish I could stop worrying about it. I don't even want to spend time with him anymore:'(

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hello kitteh
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Another thing- I've been doing a lot of reading on your site and I read many places that in order for manual sex to be a risk you would have to "literally have a handful of dripping, fresh semen". And then in another post here a volunteer said that any moisture from semen on your hands is enough to cause pregnancy. I thought there had to be enough for it to be "dripping"? If it's just a little bit, so little that you can't tell the difference between sweaty palms and other liquids on your hands, iis that a risk? what if your hands were a little sticky but not "wet" so to speak. Is that a risk? Thanks:)
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September
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It doesn't matter how close his penis is to you when you hug - as long as you are both fully dressed, there is absolutely no risk. Even if he were to ejaculate, semen would not be able to get through all those layers of clothing.

As for your second post, can you link us to the posts you are referring to? Our responses are always specific to the needs and concerns of the poster, so it's hard for me now to explain what those answers meant without the context.

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Johanna
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hello kitteh
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Maybe I should just tell you my situation so I can setttle my concerns, instead of trying to use the answer to someone else's post.
I'm very freaked out because last night, my boyfriend and I were kissing and I know he got turned on. I worried because I thought I saw a spot on his pants. He said it was a shadow, but of course I flipped out. He adjusted his pants to show me and maybe have come in contact with the spot, if there was one. I worry because the pants just havevery small visible holes. But I guess my question is, If I somehow touched this wet spot on the fabric, and then touched my vulva/vaginal area, would I be at risk? The reason I ask is because There of course was not nearly enough there to constitue d"ripping" so would I be at a risk? Most of the semen I suppose would have been absorbed even with two thin layers, and also since I would imagine it is only precum. My hands felt a little sticky and sweaty, like that lecel of moisture. Is that enough to be at a pregnancy risk or does tour hand really have to be "dripping". Thanks, and sorry for all the questions:(

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hello kitteh
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And sorry for spelling errors-- I'm on my phone.
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Robin Lee
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If you somehow did this, that doesn't contstitute a pregnancy risk.

What I hear is that you don't know whether this happened or not, and you're just afraid that it might have.

It can be really important when we're anxious to stick with what we know happened and not what we think might have.

And, as Joey said, if there's even one layer of clothing that's enough to negate pregnancy risks from direct fluid contact.

We're very happy to talk to you about this, but I'm very concerned that the answers we are giving aren't very helpful because of your anxiety about this.

I strongly encourage you to continue to call the behavioral therapy clinic your counsellor referred you to and let her know if you're not able to get through to them.

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Okay. I'm very sorry. One more question. Today my boyfriend and I went swimming. A little while after we got out, we were semi-dry, we went in the house and started kissing. His swim trunks were still very saturated with water. I'm not sure if they were dripping or not. I am worried he got hard and there was precum. Main question, can precum get through a boy's swim trunks no matter how wet they are? Or would the sperm not make it through and still be viable. I am worried because I think I may have either touched him there and come in contact with my vulva/vaginal area, or my towel was against him there that I immediately after used to dwipe my vulva/vaginal area.
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hello kitteh
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And yes, Robin, I will continue calling. I have decided counseling is the ONLY way to get my life back on track, but having you guys here to keep me calm in the meantime definitely helps me sleep at nigght:)
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Robin Lee
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As we have talked about before, it takes direct contact. vulva-to-penis or freshly ejaculated semen to vulva. If it is transferred to any other surface between those two, it's not going to cause a pregnancy risk.

Being able to sleep at night is a very good thing! [Smile]

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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I guess I worry because he got hard when his and I's bathing suits were very wet. Would even just his very wet layer stop precum?
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Karybu
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Sperm need semen specifically - not just any fluid - in order to move. So even if his bathing suit and yours were wet, sperm are not going to make it through those layers of fabric to your vulva.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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hello kitteh
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Can you explain why this is? It seems like being so wet would make it easier for them to get through. And I can't really rely on my bathing suit as a layer because it was so big on me that at that time when it happened, (I was changing) I was basically exposed from the waist down. Does that make it more risky since his swimsuit was the only layer between us?
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Robin Lee
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Wetness from water isn't the same as the wetness of semen. It takes a lot more than something being wet just any old fluid for sperm to do their thing. Water doesn't feed sperm and help it move. Sperm can't move from random places either; so unless semen comes in direct contact with a bare vulva, the sperm can't transfer themselves to the vagina.

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Thank you for all your help, however, I have a question regarding my extended cycle birth control, Camrese. If I bleed during the placebo pills, does the assure me I'm not pregnant? I've been having some spotting lately.
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Robin Lee
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Do you mean that you're spotting during your placebo week?

Having a withdrawal bleed when and how you expect to have it is a great sign that you're not pregnant.

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Okay. I spot on and off all he time but more during my plaebo pills. So that's normal?
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Robin Lee
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Spotting is pretty typical for people on birth control pills. How long have you been taking birth control pills?

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Since december. I just remembered a VERY important detail that applied to my first question on his post. The reason I've been so worried about making sure the test was accurate was because back in february I had a weird test with First response brand. I took it first thing in the morning and there was a very faint line where the positive line should be. it ruined me. I flipped out and felt suicidal. I read online sometimes the antibody line can show up for random reasons where the positive line is, kind of making a "false positive". I just remembered that. I'm hoping the test I took a few weeks ago is accurate and I can trust that it is a negative:( I just can't remember how faint the line was or if it was pink or grey.
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Robin Lee
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You have been taking birth control pills for several months. Assuming that you take them at nearly the same time every day and that you don't make a habit of missing any, they give you very strong protection.

Your most recent test result was negative, yes? That's the most important test to think about.

For future reference, if you take a test and aren't sure what the result is telling you, you can call the company that manufactured the test and they can give you additional information.

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Yeah, here's the thing, I called first response and they said "any line whatsoever" is a positive. And I'm mostly worried about something that happened in November. But also I don't take the bc pills well enough for protection, only to relieve pain for endo. So basically I don't take them at all at the same time everyday, because sometimes they make me sick, so I spread them out.
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Robin Lee
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What do you mean you're worried by something that happened in November?

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Well, anything could have happened even since I started the pills, but my boyfriend and I did some rubbing with no clothing on back then. It didn't occur to me until later that it was risky for some dumb reason. Thats why I took the pregnancy test in february. It was a very weird looking positive. Like I kept thinking it had to be a mistake. But I just don't know, so I went in to verify it with my clinic. But no one told me not to drink water right before and it was a late afternoon test. And then I took a test (the one stated at the beginning of the post) and it was negative, that would have been a few months since a real risk. But I just don't know what to trust.
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Robin Lee
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If you were pregnant, you would know it by now.

And as we've said here before, it's okay to drink water before a pregnancy test. Where did you learn that drinking water before a pregnancy test is bad?

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Because I use to purposely drink ALOT to the point where it was uncomfortable so I would have enough urine. I just wasn't educated. How would I know it by now?
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