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soccer06
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Great! Thanks so much! [Smile]
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soccer06
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And when you say genital to genital contact, you mean actual contact, right? touching? not just a certain distance from the vagina? It could be as long as he doesn't ejaculate or get precum on your vulva?
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Karybu
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Contact means actual touching, yes.

I know you've said that you don't want to stop engaging in oral or manual sex, but with this level of worry, I really wonder if it's worth it to you. Sex should ideally be enjoyable for everyone involved, and I can't imagine that this anxiety is any fun for you. Do you feel like the enjoyment you get from sex outweighs the anxiety you feel afterwards?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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soccer06
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I was actually thinking about this specifically tonight. I always worry afterward and look for reasons that semen/sperm COULD have entered me. I hopefully might be going on the pill soon so i'm thinking maybe I'll stay away from it for a while. I just get so worried and you're right. It's definitely not fun. I think i'll be stopping for a while. [Smile] Thanks!
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soccer06
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I know you said that you could not get pregnant except for direct genital to genital contact or ejaculating onto the vulva, but I was looking at NO pregnancy risks and found this...

manual sex (so long as a male-bodied partner does not have fresh semen on his hands or is not ejaculating on or around his female partner's genitals)

What do you mean by "AROUND his female partner's genitals"?

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Robin Lee
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That would mean in the immediate ficinity on the inner thighs near the vulva or anus.

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Robin

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soccer06
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Ok, thank you. So for the fact that he ejaculated into my mouth (maybe a little could have gotten onto the palm of my hand) while doing the 69, i rolled off, we layed next to each other a good foot and a half to 2 feet away (genitals), he flipped around so his head was by mine, we kissed a couple times---still genitals away from each other), and I got up and touched the bottom of my underwear that was a little "wet" from before that could have had some sperm (I don't think so, I don't remember it being wet, and THINK i would have noticed it...not sure though), went to the bathroom (which is when i noticed stickiness in the palm of one of my hands---that's why i got worried of it being in my underwear on accident and mixing with old wet fluids or something) while being on ovulation does NOT propose a pregnancy risk?

My breasts are hurting and my period is technically "due" tomorrow so i'm just a little nervous, i guess. I think a little too nervous to continue with this kind of thing until I get on birth control (pill).

Is the 69 usually pretty safe to do? Has anybody ever gotten pregnant from it? Is there anything I should know to be as safe as possible if I ever try it again? We talked about it and are stopping EVERYTHING until I get on birth control, but I was just wondering for the future.

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-Firefly-
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What you're describing really does not pose a pregnancy risk. As others have said, you need direct contact between a penis and a vulva/vagina, or ejaculation right on (or very near) the vulva/vagina.

These articles might be useful for you:
Pregnancy Scared?
Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast

While I can't know if anybody in the world ever got pregnancy from 69, I would say it's incredibly unlikely, considering it does not meet the conditions I mentioned above. If you do want to continue engaging in that kind of oral sex, you and your partner could use condoms to ensure that you don't come into contact with ejaculate at all.

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Vero
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soccer06
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Both of us decided to hold off with all of the sexual activities until I get on the pill, even if the ones we are doing don't have pregnancy risks, but once I am, i'll definitely have to try it with condoms. Thanks for your help.

Quick question: My period came on April 1 and I noticed my extremely clear mucusy discharge on the 20-21 (Ovulation). If I didn't ovulate until the 3rd week of the month, does that mean I won't be getting my period today (29th)?

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Robin Lee
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It's possible, but not necessarily. Our bodies don't run like machines, so while the processes of the cycle are expected to take a certain length of time, they are sometimes shorter or longer.

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Robin

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soccer06
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Ok, so I shouldn't be worried if I don't get it today, considering many websites say it takes 10-16 days for your period to come after ovulation? Should I not be expecting it until at least tomorrow or tuesday?
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kittycat612
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[ 04-30-2012, 07:43 PM: Message edited by: kittycat612 ]

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Karybu
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I wouldn't be concerned if your period doesn't show up exactly when you expect it. There can be quite a bit of variation from cycle to cycle, and periods don't always arrive right when expected.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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kittycat612
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[ 04-30-2012, 09:59 PM: Message edited by: kittycat612 ]

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soccer06
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Thank you. Is there anyway that a pregnancy could happen from a 69? My hand was just a little sticky at the end even though I had thought most of it had gone in my mouth. I was just wondering about the bizarre situations that could cause a risk.
Thanks!

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Karybu
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quote:
you need direct contact between a penis and a vulva/vagina, or ejaculation right on (or very near) the vulva/vagina.
Unless somehow either one of those things happened, then no, a 69 does not pose a risk of pregnancy. No matter how "bizarre" the situation, if neither of those two things listed above happen, then pregnancy is not going to happen.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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soccer06
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Ok, thank you. I'm just REALLY freaking out. My period was due 3 days ago and I still haven't gotten it. My boobs are hurting like crazy (like they usually do before), but I am SO nervous and really scared that something happened.
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Robin Lee
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Periods can be later than usual for all kinds of reasons, especially stress. Take a deep breath. You didn't have a pregnancy risk here.


Would you like to discuss birth control options?

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Robin

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soccer06
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That would be great. I feel like I need something if I am going to continue this to ease my mind. We both decided not to do anything until I get on some type of birth control.

I'd really like something that my mom wouldn't have to know what it is for. I was thinking about the pill because I have talked to her about my period being irregular before.

If I tell my doctor that I would like the pill for both reasons, do you think she'll be able to convince my mom? She doesn't think "the pill" is something I should be going on [for periods]. Any advice or things I could try?

I really don't want her to find out. I think that's why I get so scared about being pregnant.

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soccer06
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I was looking at a website and this was really scaring me. Could you please tell me if this is possible?

"Hey -- I actually just read a book from the 70s or early 80s called Your Fertility Signs or something. It talks about when there's CM present (which she likely had right before O), not to even get any sperm anywhere around the vagina. This book said if there were sperm on a hand that even touches a labia or vagina with CM on it, that droplet of sperm mixed with that droplet of CM coming from the cervix could cause a pregnancy.

It sounds TOTALLY crazy, and I'm sure they're totally frustrated, and he may even want a paternity test, but it actually is possible. I can't tell you how I wish it were that easy for me!!!"

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soccer06
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I'm sorry for continuously bringing this up. I'm honestly scared to death and crying about 3 times a day. I feel like I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I keep seeing on websites about how they heard somebody get pregnant, that it only takes one drop of semen, you can get pregnant with sperm on your hands or if it gets anywhere on your vagina, if it's a little bit the cervical fluid is strong enough to pull it up into your vagina if it's your ovulation time. All of this makes me so nervous considering i was wet and it was during my ovulation.

I honestly have no idea what to do. Do you think I could take a pregnancy test if it happened on the 21 and my period has not come yet?

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soccer06
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Hi Robin,
Well, this morning I ended up telling my mom everything just because my anxiety got so bad and I couldn't focus and almost blacked out reading the website I attatched above.

She also said that it was impossible to get pregnant this way and I told her that your website said the same thing. I think I just needed her to say the same thing as well.

She didn't get mad or anything (surprising...) and just said that if I worry this much, maybe I'm not ready. Anyways, it was great to be able to say something to her. She's buying me 2 at home pregnancy tests tonight to ease my mind about things. Would they be correct if my incident was on the 21 and my period was technically due early this week? Thanks:)

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Robin Lee
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Hey There,

Yay for your Mom being so awesome. I'm really glad you two had such a positive, helpful conversation.

As to the bit you posted above from that other Web site, that's a pretty old book they're talking about. When it comes to science, we always want to look at recent resources. Besides, the poster didn't say which book it was, which means that we can't go verify that there's a book out there that even says that. See what I mean?

Yes, your test will be accurate. Tests can be expected to be accurate two weeks after a risk, or when a period is late. Besides, you didn't have a pregnancy risk and this is just to put your mind at ease.
.

We often tell people here that if sexual activity leads to this much anxiety it maybe means they're not quite ready for that level of activity. Sometimes, even, it's people who were okay with that kind of activity for a while then something changed and they became anxious. This to say that you can stop doing any activity no matter how long you've been doing it. What do you think of this, and your MOm's suggestion that you might benefit from taking more time before engaging in this type of activity again?

And again, yay for your Mom being so helpful and supportive.

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Robin

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soccer06
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Both myself (and my boyfriend) decided that it's just not worth the worries and that we aren't quite ready emotionally yet, so we decided to stop until we both can feel comfortable and alright afterwards.

Thanks for all of your help with everything. Everything was so informative and great to read. Thanks so much for everything, really. [Smile] It's great to come to a place that you can get some real, accurate help.

I've asked TONS of questions and I am just so thankful that you took the time to help me out and answer all of them:) I'm taking a pregnancy test tonight so hopefully that will put my mind at ease [Smile] thanks again!

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