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Author Topic: Female Ejaculation but no Orgasm
sonrisa1
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First of all, I would like to thank Scarleteen for many years of service. You have helped me to feel comfortable in my own skin.

I have a question to put forward. I know that we all react in different ways to stimuli, and I have read before that females can ejaculate without having an orgasm. However, most references indicated that orgasm occurs shortly after ejaculation in these cases.

I have never had an orgasm to my knowledge, but I do ejaculate quite a bit and multiple times. Typically, when being fingered or when having vaginal intercourse (usually when I am on top controling where his penis hits inside the vagina), g-spot stimulation generates a build up of pressure and an urge to expell fluid.

A very talented partner can apply enough force to cause liquid to gush out involuntarily, but this expulsion is not accompanied by any recognizable muscular twitching nor pleasure beyond g-spot friction.

With less talented partners, I wait until a certain amount of pressure has built up, and then I squeeze with my pelvic floor muscles. This, pulls the penis right up against the G-spot and also relaxes the urethra. The combination sends out a burst of fluid. The longer I hold back the pressure, the more ejaculate comes out and at a greater force. I typically come in this manner 3-4 times during a sex session because I produce large amounts of ejaculate, and it can be uncomfortable and even painful not to release it after a few minutes of steady sex.

However, ejaculation has never been accompanied by orgasm and no matter how much we stimulate following ejaculation, I do not experience any involuntary muscle contractions. Eventually my urethral sponge swells up to the point that it is difficult to stimulate the g-spot, and we stop. We have gone as long as 45 minutes without results.

Ejaculation is nice, but I'd really like to know what it feels like to have an orgasm. Why do I readily ejaculate but have such difficulty with reaching orgasm?

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Smile. :)

Posts: 11 | From: Chapel Hill, North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Ejaculation doesn't always happen in connection with orgasm, and it's entirely possible for it to occur without orgasm happening soon after, or at all. So, there's nothing unusual in that.

Per orgasm itself, I hear you talking about stimulation from partners, but what's your sex life like on your own? Are you focusing mostly on your g-spot then too, or are you incorporating any stimulation to your external clitoris?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5721 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sonrisa1
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I prefer clitoral stimulation when I am on my own, usually with a piece of cloth with an interesting texture because this creates extra tension and the cloth covers more surface area than my fingers do. When I take time for a long masturbation session, I typically go 20-30 minutes. I can pleasure myself to the point of twisting about on the bed, but there is no involuntary twitching in my genitals, anus or pelvis.

I find it challenging to produce the correct amount of thrusting with my fingers in order to attain the proper friction for g-spot gushing on my own. A dildo sometimes works effectively, or I may begin g-spot stimulation after 10-15 minutes of clitoral stimulation since I need less friction to gush when I am already aroused.

I have never had a clitoral orgasm either. Sometimes I feel pressure building, but the clitoris retracts under the hood after a certain point, and it is challenging to further stimulate it. At this point, I usually can get the most bang by gripping the shaft through the hood and pulling the hood up and down with my fingers, but this is much less pleasureable than direct stimulation to the head. I have often wondered if the size of my clitoris plays a role in the trouble of clitoral orgasm because more than one partner has told me that I have the smallest that they have seen in a female partner and this likely makes it all the more difficult for me to stimulate it when it retracts under the hood.

In short, clitoral stimulation is much more pleasant on my own than with partners, and g-spot stimulation is more pleasant with partners. Neither have ever produced an orgasm.

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Smile. :)

Posts: 11 | From: Chapel Hill, North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Can I ask what you're expecting an orgasm to feel like? It's something that is often so hyped up and focused on that we hear from a lot of people who are assuming that orgasm is always going to be this mind-blowing, earth-shattering thing, when the fact is that it often just isn't that way: sometimes they do feel very noticeable, but other times, not so much. So, it's entirely possible that you are having orgasms and they've just not been what you're expecting. When you say "I can pleasure myself to the point of twisting about on the bed, but there is no involuntary twitching in my genitals, anus or pelvis", to me, that sounds like you very likely are having an orgasm: they're not always accompanied by strong muscle contractions in the pelvis, although that often happens. It's possible that you're just not feeling it as much because masturbation or partnered sex go on for that length of time means you're already experiencing so much stimulation that the sensation of an orgasm doesn't contrast as much.

Just to clarify, too, there's no such thing as a "clitoral orgasm" or a "g-spot orgasm" - orgasm is orgasm, and while they may feel different based on what kind of stimulation they result from, they're all the same neurologically. (There's a great advice piece on that here if you want to read up on that a bit more.) I'm also not aware of any evidence showing that a smaller clitoral glans makes orgasm less likely.

Does that help at all?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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sonrisa1
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I wasn't sure what to expect, but I figured that it would be some kind of mild involuntary twitching. I've never had that. Twisting about on the bed has more to do with heightened arousal. I can't stay still.

What I meant by problems with a smaller clit, is that for a while, when we stimulate, it protrudes, but as we get further in to the session, it retracts under the hood. Since mine's small, it is much harder to get at when it's like that.

If I should be looking for something that is barely even noticeable, then maybe it's not worth it.

Thanks for your help.

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Smile. :)

Posts: 11 | From: Chapel Hill, North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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As Karybu was saying, orgasms can feel all sorts of ways. She was just making sure that you're not expecting something earth-shattering because, while orgasms can sometimes feel that way, they don't always.

But it also sounds like you're experiencing a lot of pleasure from the sex you have, so I'd try not to place so much meaning on whether or not you're having orgasms. The point of sex is to have fun, and you're having fun, so why not focus on that?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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sonrisa1
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You're probably right. I'm likely more jealous than anything. I've been with both male and female partners, and usually, a partner gets sexually spent after an orgasm or two, and they look exhausted and contented, and while I've had a good time, I'm the "energizer bunny," as one fellow put it; I keep going and going and going, and I never reach that level of contentment, I never end up completely satisifed.

Thank you all for the suggestions.

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Smile. :)

Posts: 11 | From: Chapel Hill, North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Do you want some suggestions of things to perhaps just try and see if your experience might be a bit different?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sonrisa1
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That'd be awesome. What did you have in mind?

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Smile. :)

Posts: 11 | From: Chapel Hill, North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sonrisa1
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I think that it happened, ladies.

I used a vibrator for 15 minutes. Then he gave me oral for another 20. When I began feeling that the clitoris was retracting, I had him slow down and pick one spot in which he was still hitting it. He stayed very still, and I let him know if he went off of that spot by a bit. It was insanely pleasurable. I'd never had anyone who could reach me once I had retracted.

Suddenly, something happened. It wasn't muscular contractions or anything like I'd read online. I felt this insane rush of blood into the clitoris. Sensation multiplied 10 fold in an instant, and I was uncontrollably screaming.

It was without a doubt the most pleasurable thing that I have ever felt in my whole life. I don't even care if it was an orgasm; it was fantastic!

I think that it gave him a confidence boost too. [Smile]

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Smile. :)

Posts: 11 | From: Chapel Hill, North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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