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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Manual Sex

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Author Topic: Manual Sex
Member # 47015

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I'm sorry to bother you again, but I've been feeling a bit concerned lately: I've been engaging in manual sex with bf-quite often I might add and have been worrying about it.
I don't really know why because we ALWAYS wash our hands before and after manual sex and he always touches me before I touch him so as to avoid any possible risks. I sometimes worry that I wasn't paying attention and got sperm on me somehow.
I'm also taking birth control just in case. I wrote a few weeks ago that I was concerned that the hot weather would affect the effectiveness of the pill. I did ask my doctor, but she said that it wouldn't affect it, which really reassured me; still, I can't help but worry...;I have read the "Pregnancy Scared" article on multple occasions and have read similar posts to mine which also express anxiety about risks related to manual sex, so I should actually feel reassured...My withdrawal bleed will be in very soon, yet I don't feel any PMS symptoms...Is there any reason to worry? Thank you for having such a great website and wonderful volunteers!

Posts: 33 | From: USA | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Nomad, if you are still so worried even though you are taking a lot of smart precautions to reduce the risk significantly, have you considered that maybe you are not ready yet to engage in the sexual activities you are engaging in?

No matter what you do and no matter how careful you are, pregnancy is a possibility when you are engaging in sexual activity, and being able to accept that and handle that is part of being ready for sex.

So it sounds like it may be a good idea to take a step back from what you're doing, and go only engage in activities that you are fully comfortable with. How do you feel about that?

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 47015

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Hi Joey,
Thanks for the message. I do agree that I should stick to activities that I feel comfortable with .
That said, I'm a bit confused because I thought that manual sex didn't pose a pregnancy risk according to what I've read on Scarleteen. It says that if you wash your hands, you aren't at risk. That's why I chose to do only manual sex (fingering/handjob) because it's the only form that I feel comfortable with even though I still worry about. So are you saying that even with hand washing there is a risk?

Posts: 33 | From: USA | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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What Joey was saying was that even knowing that you are taking every precaution AND knowing what risk different types of sex have under what conditions here - you're still feeling anxiety... which can often be a sign we're just not ready to be having sex just yet.

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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