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Author Topic: Precum on fingers, help
PinkyXX128875
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Hey, please help me. I've been worried sick for the past few weeks. Me and my boyfriend were fooling around a few weeks ago. I started to give him a handjob and he pre-ejaculated a little on my fingers obviously. Then a few minutes later he fingered me. I was on my period so he didnt go inside my vagina, he stayed near the clitoris. I had a tampon in and it was day 4 of my period and I was still bleeding; I usually go 30-31 days. We were standing up so I was holding myself open by the lip of my vagina. We waited before he fingered me so whatever precum was on my hands was probably dry but my hands were sweaty. My question is, he had no precum on his hands but I did however it may have been dry. Is there any chance that I could have gotten pregnant from that. TMI i know but I need help. Please. thank you so much. also, can you only get pregnant around the time you ovulate?
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Heather
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You can technically become pregnant at any time of your cycle, it's just much more likely around ovulation. However, to find out when that even is, you've got to chart. But on the whole, if and when we know we don't want to become pregnant, the smartest approach is usually to figure we can get pregnant any time.

Pregnancy is not at all likely to happen by indirect transfer of his fluids, be it ejaculate or pre-ejaculate. Sperm cells are just more delicate than that.

For more, see: Pregnancy Scared?

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PinkyXX128875
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So there is no way that I could have gotten pregnant from that encounter?
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Heather
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It's very, very unlikely. That kind of situation is much more likely to present risks of STIs than pregnancy risks, and even those risks with manual sex like that are usually low.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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So you dont think i should be worried about anything? I've been losing sleep for the past two weeks.
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Heather
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Worrying doesn't accomplish anything besides stressing you out, so I'd lobby for trying to relax.

If you miss a period, the it makes sense to be concerned about pregnancy, but until it's that time, all you can do is wait it out anyway.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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Would the tampon have prevented anything from happening? I left it in for 6 hours after that.
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Heather
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Tampons aren't any kind of contraceptive nor anything that decreases the risk of infections.

It doesn't sound likely you had a pregnancy risk regardless, and likely a low risk of infections, but none of that has anything to do with wearing a tampon.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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so you do honestly believe that everything will be fine? also, does precum actually have sperm in it? i read some stuff but i'm confused. i'm sorry for all these questions. i'm just really nervous
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Heather
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No need to be sorry, this is what we're here for.

Like I said, in this situation -- where we're not talking about intercourse or other direct genital contact -- my answer would be the same even if it was about fluid from a full ejaculation, not pre-ejaculate. The reason the risk is so low here isn't about there being sperm cells or not, but about indirect transfer being something that doesn't work out for cells as delicate as sperm cells.

So, again, I see a very, very low pregnancy risk, to the point that I don't think you need to be concerned about pregnancy. But not washing hands after contact with a partners fluids then having contact with your own genitals is where we have to worry about infections. However, the STI risk is still usually low with this.

So, my best advice is to chill about this for now, but to a) change your habits so you two are handwashing in between genital contact in the future and b) to talk about STIs and safer sex. And if you haven't started getting sexual healthcare yet, it might be a good time to get started with that. So, if a doctor thinks you need STI tests, then you can get them. Okay?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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okay, so with indirect transfer they typically die off because they arent that strong? thank you so much for your help! i really do appreciate it
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Heather
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No trouble, I'm happy to help.

Sperm cells really need a very specific environment in order to remain viable and then create a pregnancy. They need the fluids they're part of, they need to not be jostled around too much, and the journey from testes to cervical opening needs to be pretty direct, not too long, and also involve the proper chemical environment in the vagina (which is why spermicides can work).

I get the feeling sometimes that it can be tough for people to think of sperm cells as the frail, delicate flowers they really are when masculinity and male sexuality or penises are often framed as so... like, "Grrrr! ARGH! I AM MIGHTY!"

But not only are those kinds of messages often false about men, masculinity and male sexuality, they most certainly aren't about sperm. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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Lol i never pictured it that way; What are the chances anything could have even survived if my fingers were dry? and what would the concentration of sperm in pre ejaculate be then?
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Heather
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Really, none.

So, here's the scoop with pre-ejaculate.

All by itself, it doesn't contain sperm cells. What it is, so far as we know, if a fluid used to "prime the pump," as it were: to clear out anything in the urethra that would make the environment inhospitable for sperm cells if and when a full ejaculation happens.

But what can happen is that if someone has recently ejaculated, is that trace sperm cells get left in the urethra, and then they can be carried out with pre-ejaculate. If and when that happens, there are WAY less sperm cells than with a full ejaculation. With a full ejaculation, we're talking about millions of sperm. With trace amounts from a previous ejaculation, we're probably only talking about a few thousand.

Now, that could still be enough to create a pregnancy, but it's clear it more often is not. After all, the perfect use estimate of withdrawal ("pulling out") is 96%. That means we can safely figure that at most, pre-ejaculate results in pregnancy about 4% of the time. Catch my drift?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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so then the chance anything was even alive is so slim that i shouldnt worry at all? thank you so much.
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Heather
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Exactly.

But again, worrying doesn't prevent anything, anyway. So, let's let go of if you should worry or not.

Instead, how about we focus on what you can do, moving forward, to make sure you're reducing your risks of pregnancy and STIs?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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so the chances of me being pregnant are so slim i shouldnt worry?

and i know, i've just been so nervous. i won't do anything like this ever again. i'm going to be really careful. im more nervous about pregnancy than sti's because neither of us have ever been with anyone else. im not worried about them here.

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Heather
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So, you can do a few different things to reduce all of these risks (and just FYI, it just isn't sound not to consider STIs as a real risk: if you are being sexual with someone else, they are, period):

1) Stop any sexual activity, period. Or, if you don't want to do that,

2) Get better about not sharing fluids with the kinds of things you have been doing. Handwashing not only takes care of all that, it's also just...well, polite. We wash our hands before we eat, so we should wash our hands before we stick'em in someone's pants. [Razz]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyXX128875
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exactly. i'll work on both. thank you so much. you cleared a lot of the air. i was just so nervous and i needed someone to tell me there is nothing to worry about.
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Heather
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Glad to be of help. [Smile] Hope you can enjoy the rest of your day feeling a lot better.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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boynoshow
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so if there's a pre ejaculation fluid on your finger then you immediately fingered your gf will she be pregnant? or let me put it this way if there's a fresh pre ejaculation fluid in your finger then you put it in your gf's vagina will she be pregnant just curious O_O so confused about this matter i'd really appreciate it with your response thank you
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Robin Lee
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boynoshow:

Your question has been answered in the other thread in which you asked it.

WE do ask that users not post in different threads with the same question. [Smile]

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Robin

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