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Author Topic: Worried..
NoName
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Hi, I posted a few days ago about the possibility of semen spilling on my jeans getting me pregnant. I was told that it wasn't possible. In all my other pregnancy "scares" I never really got any real physical symptoms that made me think I was pregnant, it was all mental and was anxiety based. This time, my body is doing some weird stuff. My periods are pretty regular except for the occassional longer cycle or shorter one, but usually it is always around 28-30 days. I usually ovulate right in the middle of it. This time, I am almost positive I ovulated on day 9 of my cycle...when I expected to ovulate around day 14-16 as usual. When this happened, it was so close to my period that even a little bit of old blood (brown) came with it the first day, and I proceeded to have the stringy, plentiful discharge for the next couple of days until it stopped. I have dried up since then and have hardly no discharge, just like I do in the week or so before my period. I have had a short cycle before so this should not alarm me but considering that the incident the night before got me panicked, it was scared that something else could have caused that discharge. Also, I have noticed in the past couple of days that one of my nipples has continuously stayed erect and sore, for no apparent reason. If that WAS ovulation discharge last weekend, I NEVER feel pms until about 5 or 6 days before menses, and the symptoms, especially the breast soreness (which isn't usually right on the nipple), doesn't really happen until a few days before. This is scaring me. Can you help me understand what might be happening? I want to believe that it just ovulated early and will get my period by the end of next week...but I can't explain the breast soreness coming this early. All that I have done since my last menstrual cycle is give my boyfriend oral and manual sex, and was fully clothed both times (but he wasn't) and he game me the same one time when he was clothed but I wasn't. So really, the semen spilling on my jeans should really be the only concern.
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Kachina
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NoName, if you are getting your period you are not pregnant. As well, pregnancy symptoms (which it doesn't sound like you are having anyway) do not show up right away, but take a month or two. Our bodies are not machines, they tend to vary in their cycles for many different reasons (like your anxiety over this), so your period will not be the same every time.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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NoName
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I'm not getting my period that I know of. What I meant was that since my last period (started on the 9th of this month, I only had those two encounters. I am just threw off by what looks like early ovulation and VERY early pms. I know that my anxiety is talking and I am trying really hard to stop doing this but anxiety aside, my body is acting weirdly and making hard for me to feel calm. I thought that by keeping my clothes on and being intimate one at a time that I could calm my nerves but obviously it didn't work. I think what I am going to have to do is just stop all sexual activity and try therapy...yet again. I really hate myself for doing this but yet I can't stop.
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Kachina
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Well, if you're ovulating your are also not pregnant...

I think the idea of stopping sexual activity and trying therapy again is a good idea. Even though you are doing things with no risk of pregnancy it is still causing you so much anxiety. I am also going to recommend again trying meds with therapy. Both together really is the ticket for anxiety disorders.

What kind of therapy have you tried? Sometimes it can take a few tries (medications can as well) of different kinds to find the one right for you.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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NoName
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See, I ovulated the day after the encounter with my jeans, which is what scared me the most. I can usually dampen my anxiety a little bit by not doing anything near my ovulation...which usually happens about a week after my period, but this time seems different. I had (and still have a little) convinced myself that the discharge was pregnancy discharge and not ovulation. Crazy, I know. I dread the idea of going back to therapy SO MUCH. It is so disheartening to have to tell someone new the same stuff over and over and none of it help me. I just don't know what else to do. I will take the possibility of medication into consideration though I can't promise that I will be able to get myself to take it.

My experience with therapy has been very strange. Most regular people who don't know a lot about Psychology and therapy go into it thinking that well, therapy is therapy. But I know different. There are tons of different types of therapy. It sounds crazy for me to be saying this but what my education has helped me realize about myself is that I don't really buy into "theories" and I think most types of therapy are completely ridiculous. People can't be summarized and categorized that easily. I think the only way therapy can truly help is just by giving you an outlet to say anything you want and have someone to guide you through it who is unbiased (hopefully) and non-judgmental. That is what therapists are trained to do, not to fix people but to help them fix themselves. Given all this information, I haven't tried "kinds" of therapy. The therapy I have had has just been general therapy. No special techniques were used and from what I could tell, they specialized very little in a certain therapy, if any. I always discuss my OCD/anxiety problems with them but they seem to always deflect to other issues, which are still important but I feel like I have talked them to death. I never know why this is other than me just being unlucky enough to get interns or therapists who are inexperienced in dealing with anxiety of this sort. The only definite class of thought that I have worked with was in my education and it was Cognitive Behavioral therapy...which is acclaimed to be THE ticket to curing anxiety. Well, I wore it out and it never helped me at all. It requires you to take control of your thoughts...which is an oxymoron when the reason you have ocd is because you CANT control your thoughts. Has a certain therapy worked for you? I don't have huge range of choice in what therapy I can get in general because I have no health insurance and can only go my local mental health center because they put me in a no cost bracket.

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Kachina
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I don't know how much general talk therapy can help with anxiety disorders. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is what worked for me. It doesn't exactly require you to control your thoughts, it should TEACH you how to control your thoughts. However, I know with myself, I need the medications to be able to even attempt to control my thoughts. Likewise, the medications alone didn't work - I use what I learned in CBT all the time to keep my thoughts from getting in that "cycle".

Check out this workbook:
http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step-/dp/1572245727/

I got the one for Depression rather than Anxiety (I have both) but I found it very helpful. Writing things down seems to help me much more than just saying/thinking things. Therapy once a week doesn't really do the trick, what that's for is so they can teach you how to work on your own for the rest of the time you aren't there. During treatment I made sure to keep a notebook with me at all times and just did all those exercises all the time. Now it's automatic as soon as I realize my OCD is starting it's thing, I can shut it down. But to start with, you need to do each step, it's not as simple as just "controlling" the unwanted thoughts, there are steps to take that in the end result in controlling that unwanted thought. The steps are small and doable.

[ 07-22-2011, 02:46 PM: Message edited by: KatWA ]

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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NoName
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I guess I will give it another try. I don't really have a choice. This has been my longest, worst, and most distressing relapse I have ever had with any of my big obsessions. I never got any major physical symptoms before, but now, all I have to do is think about this for a little bit and I get diarrhea and my heart starts to beat really fast. Just the other night in ballet class, this lady who took class with us brought her newborn to class and let it sit in it's carrying thing(can't think of the name of it) while we took class. Inside, I felt so angry by this. Seeing that baby and seeing her, knowing that she had just had the baby caused me so much anxiety that I couldn't focus on anything else. What makes it worse is that anytime there are babies and women around, it seems that they all start talking about birth, breastfeeding and how their body is doing weird stuff afterwards..and all that jazz. I just wanted to cry when they were talking about it and scream at them to shut up because they were horrifying me. The OCD makes me afraid that I won't be able to control my thoughts and might say them out loud so that situation was very stressful. I can't live this way anymore and I am at my wits end. This has only gotten worse as I have gotten older and if it gets even worse than this (which will probably happen) I won't be able to live at all. All I know to do is to tell whoever I see from the get go what I need out of therapy in the immediate term and how desperate the situation is. I hope so badly that it is different this time. Thanks a bunch for talking with me. You have been so informative and helpful with all this and it has been a blessing to talk to you.
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Kachina
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I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time NoName. I think the idea of stating to the therapist right away what you need is a great idea. When I went through my therapy it wasn't someone who was trained in CBT either, it was someone who I saw for free at my school. I just told them I wanted to do CBT, showed them my workbook (which had been given to me by a good friend - as well as the advice that I should just take the matter into my own hands and tell the therapist what we would be doing rather than the other way around) and they bought a book on it for themselves and helped me through it. This worked much better than any of the expensive psychiatrists my parents had sent me to before.

I'm glad I could be of some help. I hope you find something that works for you.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

Posts: 876 | From: Seattle | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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