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Author Topic: What now?
Member # 71543

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About a year ago my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) forced me to have sex with him. Then he sexually abused me until I broke up with him, which was about three months later.

At first I thought I could deal with it by myself, but I recently realized that I'm still scared of him and that I haven't dealt with it at all, just repressed it. I don't know how else to get over this.

I haven't told anyone about it. I'm scared to tell my parents because I don't know what they would do. I'm scared that they would blow it out of proportion. Also, my mom was sexually abused as a child, and I'm worried that if I tell her that she'll be really upset. I'm in college so I dont really have a couselor to talk to either. Do you guys have any advice at all about how I can go about dealing with this?

Posts: 7 | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 36725

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Hi janedoe891, Welcome to Scarleteen.

I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you, and that you're having a tough time coping right now. I see you saying you don't want a counselor to talk to right now - is that something you'd consider? If so, colleges often have counseling centers on campus, and even if it's not someone you'd be willing or interested in talking with at length, they can be really amazing when it comes to finding outside resources or a counselor well suited for working with you on what you're going through.

Can I also ask what you're doing for yourself lately? For instance, how you're helping yourself cope through some of the tougher moments (if you're having flashbacks especially). Often it can be really helpful to find either physical activities or things like writing, drawing, etc to help us with connecting with us and working through/processing what's happened.

Also wanting to give you a great resource here: RAINN 1 800 656 4673 (also have an online hotline for support here

Hang in there!

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 71543

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It's not that I don't want to talk to a counselor, I just don't know how to find one.

I write letters to people to tell them how I'm feeling, but I don't send them. It kindof helps get my feelings out so I can assess them from the outside. I also write poetry.

Thank you so much!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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