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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Uneven proportions...

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Author Topic: Uneven proportions...
Brutus
Neophyte
Member # 49130

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So I know it's completely normal for your first few times having sex to be uncomfortable/painful and they have been for me. In fact, excruciatingly so. See the thing is that I'm tiny and my other is... rather endowed. I don't really mind the pain because I know it's a pleasurable experience for him, but it's not getting any better. Out of courtesy and love I deal with it until he gets his, and honestly it upsets him more than it upsets me. The real problem is that it's an instant mood switch after I'm all riled up from foreplay; I'm completely turned off. I hate that. I'm just looking for your best advice. If you need more information to berter target an answer, just ask =)
Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
turtle_lady
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I asked a question similar to this. My first time, I remember was painful, but not excruciatingly so. As a matter of fact my fiancee is also well endowed and it hurts me a litte bit now too...but I would say that pain can be increased or relieved based on how comfortable, relaxed and lubricated you are. Heather has informed me that vaginas don't really have a size but our vagina can either be tense or relaxed which determines comfortability, I think. You may want to try different positions too to maximze your pleasure and determine what feels good and what doesn't feel so great. But since it's only been the first couple of times, I would suspect that you'd be a little overwhelmed or frightened or nervous and therefore tense up, making the experience hurt a bit. It is nice that your significant other is concerned about your pleasure but are you able to discuss with him what different positions or perhaps bring water based lubricants into the mix to help with a little more lubrication (that is, if you're using confoms)? Do you know if there is any particular reason that you switch from complete arousal during foreplay to a turn off to the moment sex starts? I'm thinking it could be anticipation that it may hurt or that there is slight nervousness. Does this help a little bit?

[ 05-28-2011, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: turtle_lady ]

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~Kayla Christine~

Posts: 51 | From: Ontario | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Brutus
Neophyte
Member # 49130

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We have tried multiple positions, actually. He's very open to that and it's always well lubricated whether it be natural or an outside lubricant. Honestly, I feel very relaxed when we make love. I'm a very tense person to begin with so I'm thinking the discomfort could be caused by stress, does that sound dumb? I think I'm instantly turned off by mySELF, not him, if that makes sense. Like, I no longer feel "ready to go" though my attraction or desire for him doesn't really change. I believe the main concern is that the pain distracts me and I'm just waiting for it to be over with and he can recognize that.
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turtle_lady
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That fact that you are a tense person could add to how tense you are, maybe perhaps even during sex. You are definitely not dumb for thinking so. And I totally understand the feeling, I was like that once long ago (4 years ago), when I was first having intercourse. Perhaps as you get used to doing it, you'll relax more as you go on [Smile] I find sex much more enjoyable now than I ever used to -- mostly because I have found 'the one' and we're getting married next year and he just does that much more for me sexually ^_^ as you get to know each other, it'll get better. First times are sometimes a little awkward hehe.

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~Kayla Christine~

Posts: 51 | From: Ontario | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CoatRack
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50455

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turtle-lady, you have been asked before to please NOT post in the staff-only area. this space is for staff responses only. Please reread the guidelines.

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

Posts: 441 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
turtle_lady
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Member # 64098

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I appologize, I had only realized this later [Frown]

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~Kayla Christine~

Posts: 51 | From: Ontario | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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