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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Insecurities?

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Author Topic: Insecurities?
CanaLyn
Neophyte
Member # 59873

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I'm 22. I've been sexually active for about three and a half years. I have a REALLY hard time allowing myself to orgasm. I MIGHT have had one once, but I'm not even sure if that really was one. With a partner I always either stop myself or ask them to stop, and when it's just me I can't ever let myself go. I know I'm insecure in my day-to-day life, and I know insecurities can affect the process, but I never thought it would reach to this extent where I'm always pent up and feeling frustrated sexually. Any advice?

(I stuck this here because I didn't know where ELSE to stick it.)

Posts: 2 | From: Alabama, US | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Do you have any thoughts about what it is that you are afraid of? What do you think might happen if you allow yourself to let go?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CanaLyn
Neophyte
Member # 59873

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I've never really given much thought to what might happen, actually. It's just a "No, don't, time to stop" sort of reaction and, once that happens, I'm done. It's kind of a "no turning back" thing. :/

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Jamais je ne t'oublierai.

Posts: 2 | From: Alabama, US | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Well, the key to overcoming a fear is usually finding out its root. In this case, that would mean exploring why orgasms frighten you.

If you find that you are generally an insecure person who has trouble relaxing and letting go, and you feel that this is impacting your life, you may want to look into getting some counseling around this.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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