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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Please Help!! Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder

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Author Topic: Please Help!! Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder
BreakingSilence
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I would like to know everything you can tell me about separation anxiety in adults. Also, I'd like to know if its possibly linked to past childhood. I really need help. I don't want to ruin my relationship. I hate being without my boyfriend. We get along so well and I've never had anyone ever treat me so well ( including my own family)We are very much in love.
His job requires that he travels, so sometimes he's away for a couple weeks at a time, he doesn't always have service on his cell phone. All I do is worry. Sometimes for no reason I worry that he doesn't want to be with me, I worry that somethings going to go wrong or that our relationship is just too good to be true.There's times I feel undeserving. He assures me that everything's fine and that he'll never leave me, but I've just been through alot in my life, its hard for me to fully understand that . He tries to be as understanding as possible. I get upset and usually cry if he doesn't have service or he doesn't answer the phone right away. I have even cried before when we left each other.
He's never on time for anything, even his family tells me that, sometimes that upsets me too... like when he tells me he will call me in a "little bit" and hours go by. He doesnt seem to have the best concept of timing.

If it helps at all, as a child my parents separated and 18 years went by before I ever saw my father again. In just 2 weeks we got super close and then he dropped me like a bad habit. It hurt sooo bad. Also everyone I've ever gotten really close to has hurt me badly and/or left me. I just can't take it anymore.

For some reason I feel I need something to assure me that he isn't going to leave me and that if we don't talk for a couple days while he's away that he's still going to love me. I just get soooo scared sometimes, I can't control it! I just can't help the way I feel. I'm willing to do anything to keep us together, I don't want my separation issues to ruin things for us. Sometimes I just cry and anxiety takes over me. Please help me, sometimes its soooo bad I just can't control it. I'm willing to seek out for therapy if need be. please help. thank you

[ 03-11-2011, 11:54 PM: Message edited by: Destiny'schild ]

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Sometimes the only thing we can do is accept what we have no control over.

Posts: 313 | From: :) | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Have you ever received any counseling around your problems in your childhood and your difficult relationship with your father? If not, that would be an excellent place to start.

You can get a referral for a good therapist from your general practitioner. Or, if you are in college, you can look into the counseling options at your university's health center.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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BreakingSilence
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Yes, I have gone to councling about my childhood. Thanks. Can you please tell me everything you can about separation anxiety in adults and does it sound like I have the symptoms? thanks

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Sometimes the only thing we can do is accept what we have no control over.

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September
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Well, anxiety can manifest itself in anyone of any age, and it can take many forms. Your anxiety clearly revolves around a fear of being abandoned by your partner, and if you feel that it's so severe that it's impacting your relationship, then it sounds like it's time to seek out some more counseling.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BreakingSilence
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Thanks. I want to prevent it from impacting my relationship. Not only this, but I want it to stop taking over my life. I dont't want to ruin things when it can be avoided by getting help for the problem.

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Sometimes the only thing we can do is accept what we have no control over.

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September
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That sounds like a smart move. Are you still in touch with your previous therapist? If so, I'd suggest simply giving them a call and asking if you could meet with them again.

If you would like to seek out someone different, you might start out by getting a referral from your general practitioner, or getting in touch with a school counselor.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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