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Author Topic: condom
sunkissedx
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hi if you continue having sex when the condom is still on is that okay ? he didnt really loose his erection much and when i felt there was just my cum on the other side. it felt as though the condom was quite tight aswell ?
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sunkissedx
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he also cum in it [Frown]
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Heather
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I feel like I've asked you many times to have a conversation with us about proper condom use, and it seems to always get blown off unless you wind up getting scared or having something bad happen.

Can we perhaps finally have that conversation so that you can know IN ADVANCE, from now on, how to use them properly?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sunkissedx
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yeah i took the advice given and made him draw it out like you said but i didnt know that he'd cum cause he carried on and i just had no idea what so ever ?
can you have a chat with me ?

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Heather
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You have no idea how delighted I would be to do just that. [Smile]

Okay! So, let's start with the basics:

1) Use a good quality condom that is new, and well before the expiry date. Be sure you're also using a condom that hasn't been kept anywhere where it can get worn or too warm or cold. Make sure YOU have condoms for yourself so you don't have to rely on others to have them.

2) Open the condom wrapper carefully with your fingers (not teeth), and roll it out a little so that the edge is rolled on the outside of the condom. That rolled-up edge needs to be on the outside, facing up, or the condom won't roll down right. You can put a few drops of water-based lube inside the tip of the condom: that not only helps with getting it on, it makes condoms feel a lot better during use. Only put a condom on AFTER there is a partial or full erection (after the penis has "gotten hard"). If someone loses their erection, you need to stop having intercourse, take off that old condom, and put a new one on if they get an erection again and you want to continue intercourse.

3) Squeeze the tip of the condom with your fingertips to leave some extra space in the tip, and roll the rest down the length of the penis, while still pinching the top. The rim of the condom should be as close to the base of the penis as possible. When you're down to the base, run your fingers from the tip all the way down to press out any air bubbles: this helps keep condoms from breaking.

4) Put some latex-safe lube of the outside of the condom, and you're good to go. While you are using the condom, you or your partner do not need to hold its base: condoms are designed for hands-free use.

5) After ejaculation (or not, but you're finished having genital sex) -- before you withdraw -- hold the base of the condom (the rolled-up part) with your hand. If you withdraw without holding the base, the condom could slip off.

Keep your hand there while you withdraw, and until the penis is all the way out of the vagina, anus or mouth. Pull it off with that one hand on the rim of the condom and your other hand by the tip. Pulling it off by the tip alone not only makes a big mess, you could drip all over yourself what you just worked so hard to keep out. Tie a knot near the base of the condom.

You want to remove a condom after ejaculation, not have a partner just hanging around in there or having another go with the same condom. Not switching to a new condom in that case could cause the old one to break.

6) Throw the condom away in the rubbish bin - NEVER reuse condoms. Never use two at a time to try and be "extra safe." Both of them will most likely break due to extra friction, and it just doesn't work or feel very nice for the wearer. One condom, used properly, is as safe as it gets.

With what happened this time, ASK a partner to tell you when he ejaculates. You can also go over ALL of this stuff with condom use BEFORE you two have sex, having a real conversation about it.

At the same time, I suspect you still are probably not picking the best partners, gal, and am not shocked to hear you were with someone who didn't communicate well. How about reconsidering what we've talked about before and spending a few months of your life WITHOUT having sex with anyone so you can regroup, up your own assertiveness, and get a bit better at not choosing a lemon? Know what I mean?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sunkissedx
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Thankyou for that advice im just gunna save that and give it to him because i want him to know exactly what hes doing !
it was a valentines thing "/ your right though i really do need to communicate more , i should of told him this before hand , he didnt loose an erection much but he pulled out about 5 mins after he cum. can i go on my pill even if i havnt turned yet ? or would you suggest me taking a pregnancy test before doing so ?
i cant get another morning after pill because of that cause when i think about it he was still quite hard and i took one on tuesday ! WISE UP NATALIE , i feel like i need love and attention all the time , i wish i knew someone like me

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Heather
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There are a lot of people who are in or have been in the space you're in, seriously. I think the thing you want to ask yourself, though, is if you really want to stay in that space. If not, like with anything else, if you want different results, you can't keep doing the same things. Know what I mean?

It sounds like the condom did NOT break or slip off here, it just could have more easily because of this. In other words, it doesn't sound like it failed, but like y'all got lucky.

What pill are you asking about?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sunkissedx
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thank god its literally helping me get over my ex though and we have both explained we dont want a relationship. so yeah i might end out seeing him but hes even said himself that were probably using each other and thats fine with me cause i still get love and attention ! lol

it didnt slip or break it was just the fact that we were carful and hed cum a bit but we carried on , i think he was nervous as he explained today he didnt really communicate much yesterday.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I think I'd just want to ask again if you feel like you really want to stay in a space where in order to feel okay about yourself, you feel like you have to have sexual attention or be having sex with someone -- and if you think that's really the best route to being happy and moving towards the kind of life you really want.

I guess what I'd also want to ask is if you'd really feel LOL about the two of you using each other if that's what was/is really going on.

...and then I'd ask, lastly, if you've thought about if distracting yourself is really the way to get over your past relationship, take stock of what went on there and move forward, or if, instead, something like this might just be keeping you from that important work for yourself.

If you don't want to talk about that stuff, that's okay, but given all the things we've talked about and given your history, even if you don't answer me here or want to talk here, I think they're important questions to take a real look at yourself, okay?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sunkissedx
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no i want to talk about it , im still looking after myself caring for myself and i have an interview next month for a job , i applied for it when i was seein chris the odd night he encouraged me.
I just generally have a laugh its nothing serious and i never thought i would find that ok but i do , we just talk and help each other through the break ups weve both recently had and buy a takeaway. when i say use it really is just like mates we are just mates and we have a laugh and yeah we have sex but i dont need to convince myself that im not going to get with him cause we arnt after that.

im glad your making me think about it tbh but when i split up with my ex it was the best decision ive ever made , ive even spoke to my mam about driving lessons and if this job doesnt happen i want to study to become a dr.

im surrounding myself with positive things and my ex has text me wanting me back ive just ignored them all and im wanting to change my sim card. hes even went as soft and as far as to say that his dogs missing me.

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