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Author Topic: I'm scared to masturbate/ I don't want to
olivejuicevia
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I'm 16 years old and I've always been terrified of my vagina and anything sexual. Recently I have been more okay with it. I have always found fun in sex chats on anonymous internet websites just because of the creativity involved while there are certain guidelines to stick to. Recently however, it has been pretty hot and I think I have gotten a little wet from it. The internet makes it seem like everybody is masturbating, and I feel like there is something completely wrong with me for never having touched myself. But, now, it really looks like it's something fun, but I am way to scared to touch myself. Sometimes I feel like I would like to but if I actually think about it I get extremely turned off. I have always had a very high self esteem and like the idea of being your own sexual partner, but I am very scared and also do not feel a strong want for it. What's wrong with me? I'm scared that going into college and stuff without being sexually comfortable will lessen my fun, because I'd like to be able to have sex occasionally, but if I'm not okay with just masturbating and have no idea what a vagina is like on the inside at all, how can I expect to do that?
Posts: 8 | From: FL | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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It sounds to me like before you'd be comfortable masturbating -- and you don't have to be: while most people do, not everyone does, and it's just as okay not to as it is to do it -- you might benefit from talking some about why you feel afraid of any of your body parts.

Do you want to try talking some about that?

As well, if you're not sexually comfortable before or during college, then you can just know it's not a time for you to probably have sex. In other words, if it's not at your own right pace, it probably wouldn't be fun for you. But since you get to choose to only be sexual at your own pace, it's not like you have to worry about that. Do you know what I mean?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67960 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
olivejuicevia
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I think it has to do with the fact that it goes inside my body and it creeps me out. I can't wear tampons either. I really don't know why I feel so afraid of it, it just feels scary and like a part of me I've always wished to ignore.

Yes I understand that, and I think that's true, and while I know there's lots of reasons for not having sex at a certain time, safety and everything, I still feel like I don't want to miss out on anything, but I guess I will just see what the future holds.

Thank you so much.

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Heather
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We've all got several openings into our bodies: not just our genitals, but our mouths, noses, ears.

If you don't want to do something, you won't feel like you're missing out on anything. Know what I mean? Like, I don't want to eat meat for a whole host of reasons. I don't miss it, because it's not something I want or feel a desire for.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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olivejuicevia
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It's like I know what you're saying is true, but it doesn't help..this feels as if it could be an irrational fear. Do you think it's something to seek professional counseling for?

Yes, I understand that, and I can agree with that. =)

Posts: 8 | From: FL | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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On the whole, there's never a wrong time to seek out therapy or counseling and no one needs any given reason.

But for sure, if you feel very scared and freaked out by your own body or body parts, I absolutely think that's something a good counselor could probably help you out with.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67960 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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