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Author Topic: smokinqq
bebax3
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ok soo .. i have a new bf lately .. buh he smokes alot .. ive been trying to tell him to stop & he tells me he gonna stop but he still does it .. he tells me hes trying but i just dont think he is since he does it evryday .. i got mad at him becuase of tha & we started arguing beacuse of that .. but i dont noe wah too doo to convince him to stop smoking [Frown] wah can i do ? without getting help or enything like tha.
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atm1
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If you really do not want to date someone who smokes, then you need to be upfront about that and end the relatiosnhip if he keeps on smoking.

You can help him find ways to stop smoking, such as helping him make a doctor's appointment, but honestly, it's his choice to keep smoking and you're in a position to either accept that or leave the relationship.

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bebax3
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but i dont want to leave him .. & he is not gonna want to goo see a doctor
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atm1
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Well, if you do not want to end the relationship, then you are going to be in a relationship with a smoker and it's time to accept that.

Particularly if this is a new relationship, his choice to smoke (if, it even is a choice at this point--he likely is quite addicted) is really not something you have a say in. You can, however, ask that he does not smoke around you and offer support to help him quit. Pressuring him to quit, though, if he doesn't want to is not something that would be appropriate.

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bebax3
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ok thanks
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bebax3
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so how can i help him myself quiting ?
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atm1
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You can help find information for him, perhaps getting information from a clinic about low cost smoking cessation aids. If you're in NYC, there are bound to be tons of resources that are pretty handy.

Beyond offering information, there's not much you can do that wouldn't cross a line into inappropriate.

Please do recognize that unless he *really* wants to quit, he won't. Only making a moderate effort is often not enough to get through quitting smoking. And unless he really wants to quit, you're probably just going to have to accept this about him.

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