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112255
Neophyte
Member # 45466

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I recently started having sex with my boyfriend and we're going to have sex again soon. My period is coming within the next week (I take birth control and we use condoms) and right now I have a brown discharge which sometimes happens before my period. My boyfriend loves to go down on me, but I don't think he's going to enjoy going down on me right now if I have this discharge. I don't know how to tell him without it being embarrassing for me and uncomfortable for him. Any advice? We were going to get together within the next few days so a quick response would be great! thank you!

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112255

Posts: 16 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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It's really just that simple.

If you don't feel like oral sex is something you're comfortable with at this time in your cycle, you just explain that, such as "Hey, right before my period I get a brownish discharge I feel self-conscious about, so I'd rather not have oral sex when that's going on."

Filling our partners in on the un-sexy (to us, to them, whatever) parts of our bodies is part of intimacy, and a way to keep it real. If you can talk to him about the sexy bits, you should work towards being able to talk about this stuff, too. [Smile] And if you two are physically intimate, then part of getting closer is people getting comfy with all the ways our bodies function, not just some.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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112255
Neophyte
Member # 45466

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Thank you for the feedback and I really appreciate the quick response! Hopefully he won't be too disappointed. When do you think it would be the best time to tell him? I mean obviously before hand, but should I tell him before I see him or when I see him?

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112255

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I think there isn't one best time. These are the kinds of conversations we'll have with partners on an ongoing bases, so whenever you want to talk about it, I'd say that's when you should.

Too, I feel like I should add that no one should ever be disappointed to discover that anything they ever want to do isn't always something a partner will want to do, whether that's because a partner doesn't like that thing, just isn't in the mood for that thing at a given time, or has an issue like yours sometimes. If this is the first time you've ever had any kind of limit like this or voiced one, doing this isn't a bad thing it's a very good one. We all have limits and boundaries, and having them should not be a problem.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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112255
Neophyte
Member # 45466

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Your right thank you!

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112255

Posts: 16 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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