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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » "Adult" massage?

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Author Topic: "Adult" massage?
RB211
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Alright, I feel quite weird asking this but figured this would be the best place to do so.

Lately I have been really sore from my workouts and swimming, so decided to finally start looking into getting a massage. To me ideal timing was at the end of my swimming session in March, right before my Birthday. Will be turning 24, and of course wish there was a woman in my life to love and be loved by, as it has been so long and i'm feeling as if that female attention and affection is needed bigtime. During my web search an "Adult Massage" place locally was found, where they offer full body massages where for $60 they do it topless, $80 they do it nude and $100 you get to massage / have contact with them and for $60 more you get to go in the hot tub with them.

Now this could be very silly and wrong to a lot of people but should I do this? Of course that is up to me having to make the choice. A few concerns that come to mind are:

1) It could be totally wrong

2) Risk of getting an STD / infection from skin to skin contact

3) When I finally do find the right girl to date, if she found out that I have done someting such as this in the past she might be hurt / upset?


Having a hard time making it one flat out question because there are so many in my mind but of course the main one is, do you feel I should / should not do this?

[ 01-17-2010, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: RB211 ]

Posts: 11 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kitkatbits
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There is nothing wrong with this in my opinion. It is, as you said, totally up to you.

As for the future girlfriend, in my opinion only, I think that jealously in that case can be resolved by explaining to your girlfriend that you felt that you needed it to relieve your pain from exercise and swimming.

There may be other considerations which other people here at Scarleteen might comment on. Please take into mind that this site is not here to tell you what to do or not to do.

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RB211
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Thanks for that fast reply! Any input is greatly appreciated and i'm just wanting to hear pro's / cons's from others to make me feel more confident in my choice or as a way to open my eyes to something being over looked.

The ladies at this "spa" are all of legal age, professionally trained in different massage therapy courses, the business has been around for several years and is licensed by the city.

To me it will be professional to relieve my pain and of course to be able to hug, touch and feel a girls body, something that I have not had in a long time and that part seems like where the future wife or girlfriend might be upset or jealous. Either way i'm not going until March so have plenty of time to stand firm in my choice or change my mind. This site has been very helpful to me, so i'm greatful for your opinion and the others that will follow.

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kitkatbits
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quote:
Originally posted by RB211:
[...]
To me it will be professional to relieve my pain and of course to be able to hug, touch and feel a girls body, something that I have not had in a long time and that part seems like where the future wife or girlfriend might be upset or jealous. [...]

Can you describe more regarding your thoughts on the jealously part? I just looked up jealous, and it means to want an advantage (that someone has) which you don't have.

I'm viewing it as one of two things:
a) I do not see how the future gf/wife could not have access to the massaging too.
OR
b) This depends on if you are attracted to the woman that massages you. Whether or not that happens, either way in my opinion only it would not be appropriate for them to date you because of a possible power imbalance.

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kitkatbits
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I apparently am not allowed to reply here. I apologize for my indisrection.
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RB211
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Ah not a problem, well it all depends on the partcular person and any issues or reasons they would have for not approving of this themselvs. Either feeling the girl who did the massage was perfect and someone that would be remembered / desired. Worried that it might be something that happens in the future even though i'm single now (have been for a LONG time) and can do as I please. Or even her feeling it was not what she was told and that sexual intercourse and stuff like that happened and i'm holding back info.


Reason for that of course being the fact it is a fully nude, full body to body massage (rubbing me not only with their hands but boobs etc too). So it is far off from the typical spa or gym massage in the clinic in the sense all of those "extras" are included.

As for being attracted to the women doing the massage, they have pictures of all 20+ of them on their website and they are VERY lovely to say the least, and with great bodies so with my lack of female attention it seems very likely for me to be "attracted" to who ever is chosen to do it.


Could this all be the fact that I've been single for so long, and want to have a girlfriend but just can not find one? There is no doubt in my mind that if I did have a grlfriend this would not even be an option, of course.

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RB211
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quote:
Originally posted by kitkatbits:
I apparently am not allowed to reply here. I apologize for my indisrection.

It is alright, did not realize you were not one of the staff here. Still valued your opinion though and anxious to hear others as well from the staff now.
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Ecofem
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Hey RB211,

This is actually out of our scope here, so I'm going to kindly ask you to look elsewhere for advice on this specific issue. (However, since you're 23/almost 24, you have access to many excellent more adult-oriented online resources!) Of course, you're welcome to keep discussing other more Scarleteen-focused issues here. [Smile]

[kitkatbits, Thanks for realizing this forum is for staff and volunteer replies only, and we'll see you around the rest of the boards! [Smile] ]

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RB211
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Thanks for your reply, Lena. Do you have any suggetions for a good Adult site to ask similar question? Might be about time I started to use one and left this more for the teens (even though people from 18 can visit these same massage places). Maybe then I would be able to relate more or get answers that can help me [Big Grin]
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Ecofem
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Hey there!

I do know of some good resources for adults. Let me make sure I stay within guidelines myself, so I'll get back to you in a day or two on this. [Smile]

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Ecofem
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Hey there! Due to legal issues, this particular question remains out of our scope but it really comes down to your deciding this for yourself: the STI issues are present, whether you're asking about a sex worker or not. In fact, the idea of STI risks being higher with a sex worker is actually a bias rather than reality.

Because you inquired about more adult-orientated sex ed sites, I'd advise doing a google search and seeing what comes up, what interests you, etc. I'd also recommend checking out Cory Silverberg's advice column at Ask.com; it's all-ages and very good. [Smile]

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