Hi I have a few questions that are bugging me and my Mom won't give me answers. I asked my Mom to buy me some nylon panties and bra. My Mom says I am too young to wear those things. She insists on buying cotton . I also feel I should have a regular bra now not a training bra. What could the reason be ? Mom doesn't explain her reasons. I think nylon undies feel great and I think my breasts are big enough for a regular bra. BTW I am 13.
Well, I will actually agree with your mom on the cotton panties, but that's really from a health perspective. Cotton breathes much better, and so you're less likely to get infections or even just itches. It's not a huge issue, but I would recommend always wearing cotton panties to sleep if you choose to wear something else during the day.
Now, as for the bra, there's no reason that I can think of for her not wanting to get you a bra. Particularly if you feel you will be more comfortable in a regular bra and not a training bra. Have you simply sat down and said "I would really like to understand your reasons for not getting be a bra. I'm not mad, I just want to understand."
If she flatly won't express her reasons, is there another adult (or even older teen) in your family you can talk to about it? And, do you have your own money to buy one without her paying for it?
Honestly, my concern here is that it sounds like she's simply not adjusting to the fact that you're getting older. BUT, try to give her the benefit of the doubt at first, and ask her about it calmly and very explicitly. You could also try to ask her more about her own experience of developing, and ask for advice. My own mom expected me to develop just like she did, which I think is a pretty common thing. In my case, I did, BUT if you're developing much earlier than your mother did, she may simply not believe that a 13 year old can need a bra (all of my aunts were thrown through a loop when I started wearing a bra at age nine--yup, I had significant breasts at that age--because they just couldn't believe that I was getting breasts because they all have smallish breasts that developed late. My mom on the other hand was great about it, and we bonded over talking about how awkward it is to be that girl in the third grade who wears a bra. So older women's responses can really depend on their own experiences).
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.