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Author Topic: male feels no pleasure from sex
Member # 43410

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ive looked for answers elsewhere and i haven't found anything, this seems to be a pretty uncommon topic.

also some background info before i get into it:
i am an 18 year old male in good health, i am carrying no weight and have no physical problems other than asthma and i doubt that would come into play.

basically its as the subject says, i don't feel anything from sex, by this i mean physically. the first (and ultimately only time) time i had sex with my now ex-girlfriend i never came, i was tired and hungover but i was completely 'functioning'. i didn't feel any stimulation and to be honest i had to sneak a glance a couple times to check i wasn't accidentally thrusting into the air lol. after 20 minutes or so of this we stopped as she could tell i wasn't reacting in the typical fashion. this ultimately lead to our break up as we had had problems before in that i gained no physical enjoyment from her stroking my penis or giving me oral (though i greatly enjoyed it emotionally/mentally) and so she felt really terrible about this (when fingering her she would be breathing heavily or taking sudden breaths while my breathing was perfectly steady the entire time she was stroking me so she felt guilty). im somewhat concerned with this because i still have sexual urges its just that i don't seem to gain any enjoyment from satisfying them, this is even the case with masturbation. i feel the urge to masturbate but its not an action that causes much enjoyment (i have to really think about it to figure out whether i enjoy it or not which should not be the case when u genuinely enjoy something), to be honest it feels better having my back scratched than anything involving my penis. the one time i genuinely enjoyed masturbation was once after i had come my penis was strangely sensitive and felt amazing for 5-8 seconds and i was left thinking holy shit, this has made it clear to me that normally i don't really enjoy the act of masturbation. so yeah, there's my deal, im completely at a loss so hopefully someone out there can shed some light for me because i dont want to go through life not gaining a physicaly enjoyment from either sex or masturbation.

oh FYI i am definitely straight, while making out with my ex-girlfriend i felt a great amount of lust and would gain an erection from just kissing. i tried kissing a guy once at a club and within 3 seconds i knew it was not for me, i got nothing from the experience.

also sorry about the long post but i wanted to make sure i covered everything

[ 07-22-2009, 09:45 AM: Message edited by: InsertWittyNameHere ]

Posts: 1 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43383

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I also have a problem similar to that.
Posts: 2 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Hey InsertWittyNameHere. Welcome to Scarleteen. [Smile]

We actually have a pretty fantastic article on this at the main site:
I'm a guy, so how come I don't enjoy intercourse?
You might try giving that a read and see if it helps clear up a few things. One thing I want to dispell, though, is that this is somehow about sexual orientation. Having a certain type of sex feel good (or not feel good) isn't about what gender you are attracted to. A woman may only have partnerships with other women but still prefer vaginal intercourse to other kinds of sex (just as a woman may have partnerships with men but not enjoy vaginal intercourse at all or enjoy another kind of sex more). A man may only have partnerships with women but prefer anal intercourse or receptive anal play to other kinds of sex (just as a man who only has partnerships with other men may NOT enjoy anal play at all). It's nothing to do with orientation but just about what feels great for the individual.

Too, though, this might be about the particular person you are with. Just because you are attracted to a certain gender doesn't mean you'll want to have sex with every person of that gender or enjoy sex with every person of that gender. (And the same goes for someone attracted to multiple genders: it doesn't mean you want to have sex with every person of those genders.) Typically there needs to be some kind of chemistry involved in order to really enjoy any kind of sex with that person. And if there are other problems in a relationship, that can certainly create some sexual problems as well.

As for masturbation, when you do masturbate, are you really wanting to or is it something out of boredom or because "Oh, I have an erection so I must have to masturbate" kind of thing?

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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