My fear of sex has been getting out of hand lately. It's gotten to the point where I purposely make myself as unattractive as possible when I leave the house, just in case I run into any men. I've also been turning down my best friend, a boy I've had a crush on for a good six years. He hasn't shown any indication that he feels the same way back, though just the same I'm always terrified to be alone with him because I can't help but wonder if he'll ask me to be his girlfriend. I would LOVE to date him, but I'm just terrified that as soon as I say yes he'll ask for sex, and then where will I be? I thought about blaming this fear on my ex's, one whom cheated on me as soon as I said no to sex, and one whom forced me to give him oral, but . . . is just those two instances enough to make me want to remain alone forever? I really am considering never dating or having male companions ever again.
So I'm at a loss. I don't want to be alone forever, but I don't trust men one bit. All I can imagine is that they see the sexual bits of me, nothing else.
*I'd also like to add, I don't have the same fear of women. I have a girl friend whose made several attempts to date me, and though I'm not sexually attracted to her, I can see myself being with her out of loneliness*
Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Aug 2008
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