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Author Topic: can my clitoris become desensitized?
Member # 41811

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I am a 21-y-o girl and for the past couple of months it feels like my clitoris has become desensitized. I am still able to orgasm but my orgasms feel much weaker; it's as if the area around my clit is reacting and climaxing but my actually clit seems numb. I recently split up with my partner, but when I was with him, there were times during oral sex when I simply couldn't feel what he was doing to me down there. I know certain things will feel better than others, but when my actual clit is touched (as opposed to the clitoral hood or labia) I can't feel anything. It does sometimes feel a bit painful though if I touch myself by accident when in the shower or something.

This is really distressing - I feel like I've lost part of my sexuality. There was a time about six months ago where I was really bored and lonely so I masturbated a lot (at least three times a day for a couple of weeks), using a shower. Could this have desensitized me? Now I probably masturbate about once a week but it always leaves me feeling frustrated and upset because my orgasms are so insignificant - I feel like I'm totally detached from them.

I read some stuff on the internet and most of it says that you can't desensitize your clitoris, but is this true? Would using the shower have done it? And can it be affected by your emotional state? About two years ago I finished an abusive relationship; I was single until I started seeing another guy about four months ago. We have since split up because being with him brought up loads of issues from my previous relationship, and I found it very difficult to be with my new partner, both emotionally and sexually.

I really hope you can help, I feel so upset and not in touch with my sexuality at all. I think I used to have a healthy sex life but now I have no interest and every time I masturbate I just feel upset, annoyed and worried because I think my clit has lost feeling, and it might be a permanent problem.

Posts: 4 | From: England | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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No kind of masturbation can make the clitoris less sensitive. certainly, we might sometimes get in a rut about getting used to certain levels of sensation working, but that's much more psychological than physiological.

It's much more likely, if you're feeling lowered libido, less sensation, and also have been recovering from abuse, dealing with a breakup, that this is an emotional, psychological, intellectual issue. Bear in mind, too, that we all will have times when our libido is higher or lower: it's normal not to kind of stay in one place with that for years or even months on end.

Do you feel depressed right now?

One thing I'd suggest with this -- that'd be good for depression, too -- is just trying to really get back into the WHOLE of your body. Your sexuality, after all, is not just about your clitoris. How about getting into some dance, a new form of exercise, maybe getting some massages?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 41811

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Thanks for the advice - I was terrified that I was never going to feel anything ever again. You've put my mind at ease. [Smile]

I don't know whether I feel depressed, I mean I have a good group of friends, am doing well with my studies, get on with my parents... But I do feel upset most days and end up crying, usually because of worrying about my sex drive, or splitting up with my boyfriend. I feel down so frequently that I seem to get upset in random situations and can't just hang out with my friends because I start feeling sad for no reason. Luckily my best friend is very supportive and he can tell when I'm not ok - but unfortunately that's most of the time.

I'm also really frustrated that I can't get over that bad relationship I had - I thought time would make it better, but after trying to start a new relationship all those worries and fears came back. I don't know how to move on, or if I will.

I've been meaning to start some more exercise and stuff, so now I have even more motivation to start!

Posts: 4 | From: England | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 41811

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Also, do you think I should see a doctor about my clitoris? Or is the problem just psychological?

[ 01-06-2009, 02:02 PM: Message edited by: morrisdancer ]

Posts: 4 | From: England | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I think I have desensitized mine! I have masturbated with a bullet vibrator and pressure on my clit an average of 5times/day for about the last year (despite having sex a few times a day). My orgasms from clitoral stimulation have become so weak that I come silently... which was impossible before. However I find it much easier to come from sex nowadays and come much harder than fro my vibrator sometimes. My husband (& I) are awesome at it! [Wink] Do you think if I can manage to lay off the vibrator for a week or two it will increase in sensitivity again?
Posts: 1 | From: Reading | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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There's no data to support the idea that vibrators can make any part of the genitals less sensitive permanently, but they have been assoiated with tiny amounts of numbness. When that does happen, taking a little break from your vibrator and finding other ways to explore sexual pleasure most often solves that problem, yes. [Smile]

However, with the orgasms, are you feeling very, very aroused before engaging in solo sex? It might be worth me saying that solo sex is way different from partnered sex, so it doesn't really matter that you have solo sex and partnered sex a few times each in a day. Is solo sex something that seems really appealing to you lately?

Here's an article that might help a little with this: How do you Masturbate?

'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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