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Author Topic: Morning after pill and STI's
Namida
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I've been waiting for a girl for a while, she said she didn't want a relationship yet etc.
Anyway, 2 weeks from when she was supposed to answer I ask how it's going and she tells me she hasn't given it any thought in months.
And so I end up in bed with another girl, twice 9my first and second times). The first time (I know it was wrong, and I'm still beating myself up about it) she suggests we do it unprotected because neither of us has a condom and she takes the morning after pill, after some time I agree. The next time, 5 days later I'm prepared and bring a condom, but it breaks, she takes the pill again (I feel terrible).
So both times she had the first pill within 12 hours (I only have her word for the first time, I was with her the second) and as far as I know she's only been with one other guy since she was declared clear of STI's when she had a rape baby in feburary.
Later in the day of the broken condom the girl I was waiting for gives me the go ahead, I don't wanna tell her so I figure I'll just not let things get too physical until I've been cleared (and hope they never meet and the jealous guy who's after the girl I slept with doesn't try to stab me). How long until most STI's will show up on a blood test and just how effective's the morning after pill?

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And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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If she did indeed take the EC 12 hrs after both risks, she's about as protected as she can get.

You're going to want to go through two separate STI screenings: one soon and then another 6 months or so from the first testing date. Some STIs take months to show, and some don't present with any symptoms, so getting two ensures that all your bases are covered.

As a side note, given what you've told us, it seems pretty darn irrational to jump right into a relationship (which, by the way, you really don't know what this girl is going to say; right now it sounds like it's up in the air) after what's gone on. I'm very uncomfortable with the fact that you won't be honest with someone you might be getting into a romantic relationship with about your sexual history, and it's pretty clear that you need to learn to set sexual boundaries, regardless of what the other party wants. I'd suggest you work on that before anything else happens, less you or a future partner get hurt.

[ 11-11-2008, 09:42 AM: Message edited by: JamsessionVT ]

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Abbie
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Namida
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I'll be honest if I have to, but I can promise you if I were to ask her she'll give the same cryptic answers as always, so that makes us about even in my eyes. I forgot to mention me and the girl I was waiting for tried a relationship 18 months ago but she wasn't ready and kept distancing herself, so we called it off until she was ready, which in the same day the condom broke she informed me she was, so I'm not jumping into a relationship

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And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Relationships are not about being even. If that's more important to you than creating an honest relationship or treating your partner with respect you probably are not ready to be in a relationship at this time. And if she is incapable of open communication with you, it's going to be next to impossible to have a healthy relationship with her.
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Namida
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Honesty's a 2 way street. And as I've said, if there's a situation where she needs to know, I'll tell her, in the meanwhile I'll just avoid any situations that might endanger her, which is a hell of a lot more respectful than the previous guys.
Now, on open communication, wouldn't you say that takes time? Trust? I like her and I hope to help her overcome past hurts, but that will take time, she'll have to let herself trust a guy to not just be with her so he can kid himself about his sexuality.

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And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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You know, using someone else's dishonesty as a reason not to be honest with them is a pretty crappy excuse. What I don't think you're understanding here is that this isn't just about you: it's about her as well. This is HER safety on the line. Is it responsible to avoid sexual contact until you're cleared? Yes, absolutely. But does that mean you just don't mention the fact that you had those risks in the first place? No.

And while trust does tend to either grow or wain in a relationship, open and honest communication is something you should and need to establish from the get-go. So I'm not so sure I understand why you aren't willing to do this, when it means her safety as well as yours.

[ 11-12-2008, 02:18 PM: Message edited by: JamsessionVT ]

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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