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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » REALLY WORRIED

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Author Topic: REALLY WORRIED
princes
Neophyte
Member # 40351

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i am 17 and am planning to have sex with my boyfrend for the first time in some months as v r in a long distance relation and i am shifting in his city after some time.
we love each other..ours is the high school love kinda story [Big Grin] .
weve talked about it and both of us a virgins,im really worried about having sex as i cant end up having any kind of STD because i am training for a pilot and that requires complete physical fitness,is it possible to get a disease if its the first time for both of us?
im also worried because ive gained weight and i dont want to end up looking fat for the first time naked with him.i dont have low self esteem but i really am worried about it.any help to look good that night?
anything i could surprise him with for the first time v make love like an unusual position?
i wanted to have sex without using a condom for our first time but would do that only if im sure its healthy and safe.
can oral sex cause STD?
can i use eppilators for shaving pubic hair?

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he made me fall in love and i couldnt help it:)

Posts: 6 | From: japan | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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(Rollerchick, this section of the board is for Volunteer replies only. You're more than welcome to help out on the rest of the boards, though.)

Princess: If you are thinking about becoming sexually active, you and your partner both should get STI screenings done. Though the chances that either of you has an STI is low if you have never engaged in any sexual activity before, there are still some STIs that can be transmitted in non-sexual ways, so getting tested is the smart thing to do. You'll also want to continue to use condoms for at least the first six months, until you get tested again.

You'll also want to use a condom, anyway, to protect you from pregnancy risks.

It would probably also be a good idea to not stress to much about the first time, and to not have such high expectations, and so many plans. For example, it's probably a bit too early to be worrying about different positions on the first try. Just start out slow and simple.

As for shaving your pubic hair, whether and how you do that is up to you. Just know that pubic hair is perfectly normal and there is no need for you to shave if you don't want to. Just do what feels right to you.

Here are some articles you should also read:
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
First Intercourse 101
Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

[ 09-23-2008, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: September ]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just one extra reminder...

Sex with a partner is supposed to be about the two of you expressing yourselves, your sexuality and your feelings for each other.

It shouldn't be about feeling like you have to wear costumes, change how you look, or put on some sort of a performance.

In other words, ideally, you want to come as you are.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
princes
Neophyte
Member # 40351

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WE BOTH HAVE GOT A blood test done since weve got our visa for another country and that requires a blood test,so as nothing was wrong we were given our visas does that still mean we should undergo tests for STD?

i do want to get rid of my pubic hair its a personal choice that is the reason i asked if i could use an eppilator for that.

is it recommended to use makeup that night or anykind of perfume?

thanks [Smile]

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he made me fall in love and i couldnt help it:)

Posts: 6 | From: japan | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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That depends what you were tested for in that blood test. You'd have to look up what you were tested for specifically, and if STIs were not part of that (or only some), you'll still want to get a full screening done.

If you want to shave, then go ahead. I don't see a reason why you shouldn't use an epilator. You'll just want to be careful.

Whether you want to wear make-up or perfume is totally up to you. There is no guide book to first time sex, and no rules. Again, it sounds to me like you're over-thinking this, which can be a great set-up for disappointment. So try not to plan every teeny detail, okay? I also suggest you read the articles I linked you to in my first reply.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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