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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Parents and talking about sex

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Author Topic: Parents and talking about sex
Bun Bun
Member # 37353

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I'm 17 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now. Before that, we were best friends for almost two years. Because of this, communication between the two of us is amazing- meaning, we can talk about anything and not feel embarassed or uncomfortable at all. About a month ago, after much talk and debating (I'm talking 6 months or so of it), we decided to finally take the leap and have sexual intercourse. Both of us feel completely comfortable with our decision, and very responsible as I am on the pill (and had been for a month before we gave each other our virginity) and we always use condoms. However, I'm having this constant struggle with dealing with how my parents might react if I decide to tell them that I'm sexually active. As much as I realize that this is my decision, and that in less than two months I will legally be an adult, I still feel like I need to conform to their ideas. They waited until marriage to have sex, but I feel that even though I want to marry the guy I'm with now, I don't want to wait the 4-6 years until marriage (we have decided to put it off until after university, and both of us will probably pursue a masters degree).

My question is, should I talk to them about this, or should I wait until I feel more comfortable confiding in them?

Thank you very much!

Posts: 206 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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In general, it's a good idea to be honest with your parents. Things like this have a way of coming out eventually, and it's just a good idea to be upfront about it.

The exception to this is if you're worried that your parents might react in extreme ways, such as cutting you off financially or kicking you out of the house.

Of course, you're the best judge of the situation, but I'm sure that your parents will be understanding if you told them what you told us here: you did not jump into something without second thoughts, but made a mature, responsible decision to sleep with the person you are committed to and took all the necessary precautions to make sure that it's as safe as possible. It sounds to me like you made the decision that was right for you, and your parents should be able to see that, too.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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