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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Arousal?

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Author Topic: Arousal?
XArexYouxGothlicX
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I don't know why, but it seems every time I watch a movie with a rape scene or an abusive scene I get aroused. My first boyfriend and love, abused me, would that have anything to do with it?

And I just broke up with a boyfriend because I was scared of him hurting me, even though he was the sweetest guy a girl could ask for.

But when ever he would hold me I would feel very uncomfortable.

And when, anyone touches my legs, back, stomach, basically anywhere, my skin goes numb and it feels like my body is pulling away from the person that is touching me. Could that have anything to do with my first boyfriend?

I know this is a lot, but I have questions.

Um ... I haven't really told anyone, for the mere fact of feeling embarrassed. But, I have had some discharge for a long time now. Like years and years.I was wondering why that is. I don't know what to do, please help me with what you can.

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"It's just me and Da Kurlzz, we're taking over the world."

Posts: 75 | From: Belen, New Mexico | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gwaihir
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(Would one of the volunteers answer this, please? It seems to have gotten lost under the other posts)
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Leabug
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(24 hours is not lost- Gwaihir, you know well enough that we're all volunteers. We try our best to answer questions speedily, but sometimes a question has to wait for a volunteer with knowledge in a specific area. Someone will be along to answer this soon.)

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Lea

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XArexYouxGothlicX
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Thank you. I do realise that someone will be with this post shortly. I'm just really anxious. I guess.

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"It's just me and Da Kurlzz, we're taking over the world."

Posts: 75 | From: Belen, New Mexico | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gwaihir
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Sorry about that, Lea. I've been away and coming back and seeing dozens of new posts stacked up gave this post the appearance of having been lost.
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XArexYouxGothlicX
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... Um ... ?

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"It's just me and Da Kurlzz, we're taking over the world."

Posts: 75 | From: Belen, New Mexico | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Hey, come on, guys. Chill, okay? [Smile]

Might you be eroticizing abuse? You might, and that wouldn't be uncommon. It also would be pretty common for you to be experiencing some PTSD triggers from previous abuse: abuse takes time to get over, and it's really normal for any of us who have survived it to be extra-wary with people.

Have you looked into any sort of counseling -- group, individual, even just a hotline -- per your previous abuse?

Per your discharges, have you stayed up-to-date with your annual GYN exams?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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XArexYouxGothlicX
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I have a shrink, I have PTSD. I haven't gotten an exam. My mutter keeps telling me that I need one. But I am really scared. I am not sexualy active. So ... eroticizing abuse what does that mean?

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"It's just me and Da Kurlzz, we're taking over the world."

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Heather
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If you've never been sexually active, then there's really no reason to worry that your discharges over the years have been anything but normal, really. But regardless, it really is important for women to have a GYN exam once each year, and I promise, it isn't scary.

Eroticizing abuse = you may be incorporating your experiences with abuse into your own sexuality. We know, for instance, that abuse can certainly become part of our emotional patterns and habits, and the same can go with sex.

But ultimately, there's really no reason to get too freaked about fantasy, because it's not reality. No matter what turns you on, you still get to choose what sort of sex you engage in, and if you're having rape fantasies (which may not even be about rape, but about feeling that a lack of control/control is sexy to you), that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Plenty of women have them (even though again, they usually don't resemble rape realities), women who have survived abuses and women who haven't.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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XArexYouxGothlicX
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Okay, thank so much. I'm just curious. I haven't told anyone about them cause I thought it to be sick. Is there anyway I can be rid of the discharges? It makes me feel disgusting.

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"It's just me and Da Kurlzz, we're taking over the world."

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Heather
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Do you understand that vaginal fluids are how the vagina keeps itself healthy and clean?

If not, know that's pretty vital to vaginal health: if we didn't have them, what we'd have going on would be a LOT more yucky, believe me.

So, if you're not dealing with an infection, then no: there's no way to be rid of regular vaginal discharges and cervical mucus, because it's part of how your body works and keeps itself well.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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XArexYouxGothlicX
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Oh, okay. Thanks a bunch.

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"It's just me and Da Kurlzz, we're taking over the world."

Posts: 75 | From: Belen, New Mexico | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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