Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Lost My Way

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Lost My Way
scooter17
Neophyte
Member # 31728

Icon 2 posted      Profile for scooter17         Edit/Delete Post 
I want to start off by saying that this site has been very helpful to me in the past and think that it is wonderful!

I've been experiencing some major roadblocks in life lately. At a fairly young age, I had my life mapped out...married, professional, with a house, car and white picket fence by the age of 20 years old and took steps to make this dream a reality. I was very focused, happy, and confident. Then, life happened. All the things along the way that I wasn't expecting...ups and downs and all arounds, good/bad relationships, death of a best friend, unable to find a career.. I feel as though I am trapped somewhere in time, unable to move forward; fearful of taking a wrong step, taking a wrong turn. I have an idea of who I want to be and am not living up to that ideal person. I think too much and drive myself crazy for sure. I'm never good enough and analyze everything..all the time. I'm not sure what I can control and can't control anymore, what is important and what I should let slide. My anxiety level is through the roof and self confidence non existent! I would like to find that self confidence within. I want to be less skeptical and more supportive, more loving and less rigid, more go with the flow and less calculating, less analytical and more free spirited.
I've tried positive psychology..training my mind to focus on the positive and create positive thoughts, what I want and not on what I don't want, focus energy towards goals ect. but find myself not sure of my own identity/ have too many masks (feel like I change to suit whoever I'm talking with), on autopilot, out of body experiences, feel like I'm being judged (even hearing voices), feel like the world is my oyster to complete and utter self doubt and dispair, very sensitive to very aggressive (I have suppressed anger from a 5 year verbally/mentally abusive relationship with sibling), and feel like I'm crushing beneath all this baggage. What a piece of work, eh? I'm hoping that I can dig up that confident, out going, loving girl within that I miss and admire so much! I would greatly appreciate your help... Thank you!

Posts: 2 | From: Montreal | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have you considered counselling/therapy?

That can give you a "safe space" to start working out your feelings and who you are under the masks.

Some of what you're going through is what many people go through as they try to find out who they are and what they want from their lives.

But some of what you're describing is a bit more unusual - out of body experiences and hearing voices can be symptoms of a number of issues, and a professional would be able to advise on that.

--------------------
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
scooter17
Neophyte
Member # 31728

Icon 1 posted      Profile for scooter17         Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, I have seen a psychologist in the past but it got too expensive. I was put on anti-depressant medication, which was very helpful at the time. Now, I'm suffering more from anxiety than anything else and am thinking of asking to switch from cipralex (anti-depressant) to lexapro (which I heard is anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication).
Posts: 2 | From: Montreal | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cherrypie
Neophyte
Member # 99953

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cherrypie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So I think I can write here. My boyfriend and I had sex 2 days ago. We had perfect sex the first time that had a condom etc. He finished rather quickly because we haven't had the time to fool around. So we waited until he got hard again, foreplay for 10 minutes and were about to go again. I thought he was going to drip on my leg so I used my hand and went down on to his penis with my hand. It was very clear liquid, probably pre-cum. However, then after massaging him down there a few strokes, I put the condom on him trying to only use the tips of my fingers and not sure if my bare palm that had touched his pre-cum and penis touched the outside of the condom. I'm also on the pill. However, 3 days before, I missed taking my pill for 9 hours and the day we had sex, I missed the pill by 5 hours. I've taken the pill for 3 years and I know missing a 5 hours won't do much especially when it's regulated. However, does missing it by 9 hours effect it? I took the pill right before we had sex, like an hour before.
So my question is, because he didn't wash his penis off, and if it got on the condom, and inserted into me, is it still viable? Also, is my pill still effective? I just want to know if I have any risk. He doesn't seem to think so. I'm pretty sure sperm can't be transferred from hand, to condom, to inside me. But not completely sure. Please answer ASAP!!

Posts: 8 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
If you use a combined pill -- not a mini-pill -- you actually have a grace period of 12 hours each day before a pill is considered late.

It's best to still try to take it within an hour or two of the same time each day just because that makes it tougher to forget and much easier to really establish a habit of taking it on time. Taking it all over the place can make it less likely to be as effective as it can be, even within the grace period.

But still, you've got that 12 hour window before you need to worry about a given pill being late.

In terms of otherwise assessing your risk, you'll find some tools to do that with here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/27/t/027786.html

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cherrypie
Neophyte
Member # 99953

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cherrypie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Does that mean I don't have a risk? I take a full pill, not mini. It's for skipping my period because of health problems and pain that comes with it so it's strong enough to hold back a period.
The pill still works, that's always good. It's my back up.
Can someone get pregnant from sperm on a condom entering into a girl? Not like a handfull, because it wasn't obvious if there was some on there.

Posts: 8 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cherrypie
Neophyte
Member # 99953

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cherrypie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I just am super duper cautious. I wasn't thinking about that at the time, when I should've considered it more than just a quick thought. speaking if worst came to worst and there was sperm on my hand and got transferred to the condom, would it be a risk? I've read this website a lot and it seems to help ease a lot of worries. I know girls can get pregnant by fingering, but this isn't the same. So not completely sure. Thank you btw! Just knowing my pill still works makes me feel better!
Posts: 8 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
There's no such thing as no risk of pregnancy when we engage in the kinds of sex that present those risks. It's not an if, it's a how much. That's because no method of contraception is 100% effective. same goes for two, alas, even though when using two, the risk is very, very, very small, especially when both are used properly.

So, what that means is per your pill, you likely have the most effectiveness it can offer, still, with no pills taken actually late. And in one year of use, that's around 99%.

If a condom had semen on it on the portion of the condom having contact with the vagina then yes, that would present a pregnancy risk. But, like I said, ANY time we have the kind of sex that can potentially result in pregnancy -- namely, genital intercourse or anything with direct genital-to-genital contact -- there is some risk of pregnancy.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cherrypie
Neophyte
Member # 99953

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cherrypie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Alright, thank you. By no risk, I meant smallest amount of risk >.< Thank you
What would you suggest?
If it were you would you feel like you were safe enough or go get plan B?
Both times when we had sex that day, the condom didn't break and he finished outside of me. So my only real concern is the 10 minutes between where he dripped clear liquid onto my hand and I put the condom on
So not sure

Posts: 8 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In a case like this, there likely isn't anything for Plan B to do your pill isn't already doing more effectively.

I can't really do "if it were you's" with this for a bunch of reasons. But I can say that in doing my job here, I would not say EC is likely needed to prevent pregnancy here nor that it'd probably add anything but extra peace of mind.

But either way, it's really up to you if it's something you'd like to use or not.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cherrypie
Neophyte
Member # 99953

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cherrypie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Alright
If there is anything to worry about, I'll hope my pill can take care of it. I've been taking it long enough for it to work and I didn't miss any days by anything like 12 hours. Thank you very much! I've had to take EC before and it caused more problems with fear of the symptoms than it was worth. It did cause peace, but knowing my pill itself is doing just as an effective job is good enough. It's been already 48 hours, so Plan B by now, wouldn't be as effective or One Choice, but my pill is still effective. Thank yoU!

Posts: 8 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen