I'm going to try and make this short and to the point.
My boyfriend and i have known each other for 2 years, and we've been going out for about 1 year and 7 months. We are very in love, and even though we are young, we hope to get married someday, and are very determined to make our relationship work no matter what.. so that what we want for the future will come true.
My mom and i have talked before, and i told her that my boyfriend and i were both on the same page about sex... that we were both waiting, and that we were both waiting until marriage.
Recently one of my friends started dating this guy just a little over 2 weeks ago. They've already had oral sex, and it was in a public place (EW). To me, I think this is going awfully fast, and i feel like her new boyfriend is pushing her to do things she doesn't want to do.. because she has been coming to me for advice. And i told her i thought she was going fast, and that if her boyfriend really liked her that he'd wait for her, and he'd accept her decisions, and not try and push for things that just he wants. Also i don't know how they can say they love each other only having gone on 3 dates.. and been going out for a little over two weeks!
The only reason i bring my friends situation up is because i was talking to my mom about how my friend got a new boyfriend and about how shes going to get herself in trouble at the rate shes going. (so my mom thought that she was having vaginal sex, and going to get pregnant)
So today while i was on the phone with this friend, my mom said that she wanted to talk to me after. So i was like "ok".
So i went and talked to my mom after, and my mom was like "Is (my friends name) having sex" and i said no, because my mom said she was going to get pregnant. And then my mom asked if MY boyfriend and I had had sex. And i said no, because we haven't. And then my moms like "you know i just don't want you getting into trouble and getting pregnant!" and i was like "MOM WE'RE NOT HAVING SEX, AND WE NEVER HAVE!!" and then i was like "what would even make you think that we are??" and then my mom was like "well lets just say if something led me to believe.." and i just thought to myself like... what is THAT supposed to mean???? So then i was like "mom, we aren't having sex, really!" and then i was like "(my friends name) has been going out with her boyfriend for like 2 weeks... and then my mom was like "yeah, and you have been going out with yours for a year" then i corrected her and said 2 years. BUT WE REALLY HAVE NOT HAD SEX!!!!!
And i don't know what my mom meant by that comment.. "well lets just say if something led me to believe.." I was trying to think of what would lead her to believe that my boyfriend and i were having sex. So then i went to my cell phone... and looked through some text messages that were in my inbox. One was from my boyfriend and it said "Sorry i had to leave so suddenly, baby. I can't wait to make out and f*** you today! love you so much sweetie!"
>>Now isn't my mom like invading my privacy if shes looking on my phone, through my text messages??? i mean, i feel really violated. I'd never go get her cell phone, and start looking through it!!!!
Then also, i was giving it some more thought to as how she'd ever say what she did to me. So i went on my computer, and I look under my bookmarked sites, and sure enough there was this site.. it was on oral sex, masturbation (for girls and guys), how to achieve orgasm.. etc. Thing is.. my computer was on this morning while i was in the shower, and i had put an away up on AIM. So my laptop was on, and accesible. But its my laptop.. i don't share it with anyone else.
Now isn't my mom invading my privacy here too?? Like she just went on my computer while i was in the shower, and found that i had that site bookmarked. I mean first off, again, i feel really violated!!! and 2nd of all.. the site wasn't just about sex... it was about masturbation too.. and theres no way she can assume i've had sex just from that! i mean, can't i know some information (wether or not i'm having sex??)???
And like... when i was telling my mom i haven't had sex.. shes like i hope you're telling me the truth. And i was like mom, why would i lie about this!???
I don't know... this whole thing really blows my mind. And i think my mom is having a hard time believeing me, which ALSO really hurts, because i am telling the truth. I mean YES my boyfriend and i want to have sex... but i mean getting pregnant or something deffinately isn't worth those few seconds of pleasure!!!
I just wish my mom would REALLY believe me, because i feel like she doesn't, and i feel like my privacy has been totally invaded!!!!
My boyfriend and i are good kids. we've been together for 2 years.. we haven't had sex! we have friends that have been together for like 2 days, and had sex. (ok, i'm kind of exagerating.. but it gets my point across!!!!)
Pleaseeeeeeee somebody help me! and shed some light on this dreary situation.. i don't want to lose my moms trust, and shes kinda lost some of mine if she's gone around snooping!!
PLEASE HELP ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------- --the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return-- Posts: 133 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Maybe having a talk with your mom would prove helpful. You can ask her if she's been snooping, and perhaps discuss the sources of her mistrust and how to compromise in honest ways in the future.
Lots of parents get concerned when they see their teen's friends having sex, especially with the scenario you've described and the length of time you've been dating. They often do have a genuine desire to protect and ensure your well-being, and will go to great lengths to find out just what risks you might be exposed to.
quote:One was from my boyfriend and it said "Sorry i had to leave so suddenly, baby. I can't wait to make out and f*** you today! love you so much sweetie!"
While it was a little extreme of your mom to go through your communications, I don't honestly see how any parent could read something like that and then believe you when you say you haven't had sex.
What could be a workable solution is to be upfront and honest with your mom about what you activities you DO engage in; after all, sex isn't the only form of sex, if you get my drift. It may help her to feel like you're being more honest with her, while you still get across that you are abstaining from intercourse.
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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