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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » i can't have an orgasm

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Author Topic: i can't have an orgasm
amy922
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Member # 30413

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Dear scarlett

So, Im nineteen, almost twenty. I have beeen sexually active for almost a year now with the same person. I don't understand why I can't orgasm. Is there something wrong with me? Some of my friends tell me because i Havn't had my "cherry pop", but how could it have NOT popped if Iam sexually active. Any advice on this will be helpful. I'm worried I might be unhealthy or not "normal". I'm wondering if i may nee to take medication as well. Thx for reading this. I appreciate it.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dailicious
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Firstly: there is no "cherry" that is "popped" anywhere in your body. What you DO have is a hymen, and it neither resembles a cherry, nor does it ever pop. A "popped cherry" is usually used as slang to refer to a woman's hymen being stretched by intercourse, or a woman losing her virginity. But the hymen really has nothing to do at all with orgasm, so that wouldn't be an issue for you, anyway.

And it's completely normal for many women to not experience orgasm through intercourse alone- most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and even then, if you have never reached orgasm through masturbation by yourself and if you do not communicate what is most pleasurable to you with your partner, you're going to find it difficult to reach orgasm, period.

So, it's likely there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.

Have you masturbated before? If so, have you been able to reach orgasm by yourself?

If you have never masturbated, this may be where you should start: by figuring out with your own hands what is most pleasurable to you, you can better communicate with your partner what they can do to help you reach orgasm during partnered sexual activity.

Check out these articles to start:

Sexual Response and Orgasm
Is Masurbation Okay? (Yep)
The Ten Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self

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Jean
aka dailicious
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Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
amy922
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Member # 30413

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Thank you for replying, i totally appreciate you advice. But, i'm really against masturbating, i feeel "low" in a sense to masturbate myself, it's just a weird concept for me to accept. I do communicate with my partner about what really "turns me on" and we have tried it out, but i guess it didn't work since I still have yet to reach climax.
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dailicious
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(Hey, Amy? Can you please remove your full address from your location? The location field is meant for a state or country so we can better help give you resources when they are needed for your area- we ask that you don't post any personaql information such as your address for your own privacy and safety)

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Jean
aka dailicious
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LilBlueSmurf
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(Amy, I went ahead and took your address out for you. It is SO not a good idea to post your real address anywhere on the internet. Please be careful.)

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
amy922
Neophyte
Member # 30413

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oh, it was a fake address, i don't even live there, i don't even think the address exists. Haha, i would never post my real address, but thanks for the help.
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