Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » ok...um

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: ok...um
Sypher212
Neophyte
Member # 19349

Icon 11 posted      Profile for Sypher212     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Okay this is wassup right now......okaymy girl and i have been having sex for about 6 months now...and everything goes fine in the whole foreplay part but the shit is i getstimulated by direct stimulation like head n shit...now after thats over....he jusst dies on me and this shit is frustrating...makes me feel like im useless..now help me.. please....i know bout something called performance anxiety but shit how long is that supposed to last ?...this is getting serious now..i do wanna pleasure her and i wanna feel pleasure too..and the other thing is the fucking condom thing...i seriously dont like them...they suck!!!!! you dont feel shit...HELP ME PLEASEE..im desperate!!!!
Posts: 19 | From: new york | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

Icon 1 posted      Profile for lemming     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Okay, your post is a little hard to read, so I'm going to try to break it down to what your questions are. I'm assuming from your post that you are male and your sex partner is female.

the shit is i getstimulated by direct stimulation like head n shit...now after thats over....he jusst dies on me and this shit is frustrating...makes me feel like im useless.

Do you mean that you orgasm/ejaculate and then your erection goes away?

i know bout something called performance anxiety but shit how long is that supposed to last ?..

If so, then what you mention above isn't "performance anxiety," it's something totally normal called the refractory period; it basically means that you ejaculate, then your body has to recover for a little bit before you can get another erection and possibly ejaculate again. Everyone's refractory period is different.

If what you mean instead is that you're *not* orgasming/ejaculating, but that you get worked up and then go flaccid, that could indeed be what you mean by "performance anxiety"--basically, that erections tend to stick around till you get worried about them and then they make for the door. That, too, is perfectly normal.

The best thing in either situation is to realize that you and your partner can both deal with this--there are plenty of things you can do without an erection being involved. Meanwhile, when you aren't concentrating on having an orgasm or an erection, you can relax enough to make those possible.

About the condoms: have you tried a variety of condoms? Because if you're only using the ones commonly available in the drugstores, yeah, those can suck. There are a number we like around here: Kimono ultra-thins seem to be the favorites of a lot of Scarleteeners. Also, condom-safe lube can make sexual activity a lot more pleasant--and safe (keeps condoms from breaking!)--for both partners.

------------------
Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"And when the answer that you want/Is in the question that you state/Come what may..." - Coheed and Cambria, "Blood Red Summer"


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen