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Author Topic: could my girlfriend be pregnant?
marben
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Member # 18069

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My girlfriend and I are still virgins. However, 13 days ago our genitals came in contact and I broke her hymen (I say we are still virgins because we did not initiate the act of sex...to our standards at least). We were unprotected and I am sure there was a very small amount of pre cum present. Her last period was April 20th and has a normal (or as close as you can get to normal) menstrual cycle. If it were perfect she would of had her period on Tuesday, it is now Thursday. On Sunday (4 days ago) she noticed trace amounts of blood in her underwear and has been having cramps for the last three days.

I have been really nervous and anxious about whether she could be pregnant. When her hymen broke we immediately stopped genital contact and later found out she had bled (a moderate amount). I don't know what I should do in this situation because I don't want to be premature in going and telling my parents what happened and getting pregnancy tests...etc.

She also says that she usually doesn't have cramps as bad as the ones she is having.

I have been worrying about this for a long time now and hope that this isn't out of the ordinary but it really scares me.

No matter what the outcome of this I have learned a very valuable lesson. I just don't want her to be pregnant because we really aren't prepared (most teenagers aren't) and I feel that we don't deserve this.


Posts: 2 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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First things first: if you are engaged in sexual activities -- especially to the point where there is penis-vagina penetration -- then you are sexually active.

Your issues of technical virginity, for whatever reason, are totally irrelevant when it comes to helth issues and pregnancy risks. So, if those ideas are keeping you from practcing sex responsibly, I'd suggest you seriously consider adpating them or letting them go. Basic physiology and human sexuality doesn't care about personal standards or definitions of what sex is.

And there's no "deserving" when it comes to this thing: you took risks and actions which carry potential consequences. No one is doing that to you (in other words, unless you're saying the two of you were forced by someone else, you did, in fact, initiate this), it's a choice the both you you made, and thus also chose to risk those consequences. Really, truly, denial is nobody's friend: not willing to be accountable for sexual choices is -- if I had to pick but one thing that MADE most young adult unprepared for sexual partnership -- what puts more teens at risk than anything else, physically and emotionally. So, start by being honest with yourselves. It's the best first step to sexual well-being there is.

That said: hymens rarely "break," but I'm going to assume since you say there was genital contact, and bleeding if you're assuming hymenal tears (though it should be said that while that can sometimes happen, bleeding is also often due to a lack of full arousal and adequate lubrication), that you thus had intercourse.

And yes: unprotected intercourse or direct genital contact creates both pregnancy and STD risks.

Since her period is late, I would very much suggest she get a pregnancy test. And since you've both also been sexually active, that you both also start annual sexual healthcare, including STD/STI screenings. You and she can go to a sexual health clinic and get that all taken care of at once, even. Frankly, I'd do that soon, for your own peace of mind above all else.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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