Donate Now
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Orgasm What a Strange Thing

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Orgasm What a Strange Thing
Member # 12774

Icon 13 posted      Profile for CMTFlovesHAH     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi I have a some questions, and I have already searched to make sure I didn't bother you helpful Scarleteen Volunteers:-)

Anyway, my first question is why can't I orgasm? I am 18 and have been having sex with my boyfriend for eight months and I've never had one. I know women usually can't orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone so I took it upon my self to masturbate and stimulate my clitoris, but I came to a problem my clitoris get so sensitive it gets almost painful to stimulate. What is up with that?

Also if there is SOMETHING wrong with me and for some reason can never orgasm even though I know that is probably silly, it does feel good doing everything that my boyfriend and I do and would it be silly to just be happy and satisfied with that? Is that crazy?

And one more thing why do women need to orgasm? I mean men need to orgasm to ejaculate so they could try to impregnate the female. But in a scientific sense why do women need to orgasm?

Thanks for reading I really appreciate any and all help. Thank you Scarleteen volunteers for your time.

[This message has been edited by CMTFlovesHAH (edited 01-13-2004).]

Posts: 76 | From: NC, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Unless you have damage to your nervous system (e.g. spinal cord injuries, diabetic neuropathy), then nope, you can't be physically incapable of orgasm.

However, it can take a while to figure out what works for you and for your body to figure out how to orgasm - it's a bit like learning to ride a bicycle (only usually it's more fun and leaves fewer bruises ).

It's perfectly normal to find that the sensivity of your genitals changes during sexual activity. So when your clitoris gets hyper-sensitive, you could try continuing but lightening up on the stimulation.

Many people also experience hypersensitivity right after orgasm, so it's worth asking yourself if you could in fact have an orgasm.

Sometimes people expect orgasm to be a much bigger deal (with the earth moving, bells ringing, the heavens-opening, and lots of movie-style screaming) than it actually is.

it does feel good doing everything that my boyfriend and I do and would it be silly to just be happy and satisfied with that?

Not silly at all.

Orgasms aren't compulsory, and they're not some special badge of achievement you have to get. They're very nice, but they're not the "goal" of sex.

If you're happy and satisfied, you're happy and satisfied, and that's great. Orgasms are just a nice bonus if and when they happen .

But in a scientific sense why do women need to orgasm?

Actually, it's physically perfectly possible for men (or the males of any species) to ejaculate without the sensation of orgasm. So in that sense, men don't "need" to orgasm any more than women do for reproduction to take place.

But orgasms (and pleasure from sex in general) help motivate complex creatures like ourselves to engage in sexual activity in the first place, so that reproduction can take place.

In addition, in most species of mammal, sexual activity has lots of other functions apart from reproduction - it's part of social activity, it creates pair bonds, and sometimes it's just fun (check out any study on the sexual habits of bonobos, a type of chimp believed to be one of the closest relatives of humans).

So orgasms - and pleasure from sexual activity in general - help motivate all those other important aspects of sex, which help the community and the species survive. It's why it makes evolutionary sense for non-reproductive sex to be fun too .

That's my take on the research, but for a much more detailed discussion of the female orgasm and its evolutionary role, check out Natalie Angier's wonderful book of the science of female bodies, "Woman: An Intimate Geography".

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Search Scarleteen