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Author Topic: I think i'm "broken"
Member # 8327

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i could use some help from anyone. I've been participating sexual actsfor about a year now and not once have I experianced orgasm. I've been masturbating but It never doesn anything for me. My boyfriend thinks it's his fault but that's crazy cuz I can't even get myself off and it's my body. I don't know what's wrong or if there is even something wrong with my clit, but when I touch it it feels almost like unbearable tickling and not good. No fun. There have been pleanty of thimes when I really felt like experiancing orgasm so that's not it. I've tried everything i can think of. I'm bi so I even had a circle jerk thing going with 2 of my closet friends (also bi) to see if they could "fix" me. They tried all they could think of. Including oral. Is there anthing I've forgotten? is there anything I can do? please help me.


Posts: 1 | From: usa | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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I don't think you're broken; I think you're trying too hard. If you focus on "fixing" yourself, you end up in a condition known as spectating, where the desire to have an orgasm keeps you from having one because you keep distracting yourself by saying "is this it? is this it?" right when you're about to have one.

So, a few things you might want to try:

1) take the pressure off by not focusing on orgasm as a "goal" during solo or partnered sex.

Any kind of sexual activity does not have to achieve orgasm for it to be pleasurable and fun! So concentrate on having a good time when you masturbate or engage in partnered sexual activity, and if you have an orgasm, great! If not, then you had a good time, either by yourself or with your partner(s), and you can just stop when both of you don't want to continue instead of defining orgasm as an endpoint.

2) Have fun exploring your body (or having other people explore it), again without orgasm as a goal.

This means getting to know what feels good anywhere, everywhere; where do you like to be touched? What kind of touching feels good? What kinds of actions feel good? Knowing what you like and what you don't like, what brings you pleasure and what makes you go "eh" will help you to enjoy sexual activity, and will probably increase your changes of having an orgasm when it does happen, because you know what you like and what you don't. Plus, exploration can be a lot of fun and make you feel good.

3) Check out our article on Sexual Response and Orgasm to learn more about how sexual response works, and we also have some advice about orgasms that you might find useful.

I hope this helps.


[This message has been edited by ErinK (edited 05-25-2002).]

Posts: 3077 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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