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Author Topic: virgin worries
Member # 7467

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me and my boyfriend are extremely close and care for each other very much (i know this sounds dumb and naive but it's true).
anyway, we've both recently started to have oral sex. he's done it to me much more often than the favor is returned (i've only done it once), but that will probably change now that i'm more comfortable with it.
we are both each other's first "sexual" partners. i was always taught that oral sex was pretty safe, but then i've picked up bits and pieces at scarleteen that prove otherwise. since we've not even made out with anyone else, could either of us have an STD? is that only contracted through intimate touch, or could we have gotten it some other way?
also, i once read an article that said if there is semen on fingers that go inside of me, i could get pregnant. i've always been really careful, and i make both of us wash our hands before doing anything like that. we don't have actual "sex", as in the intercourse definition. is that enough?

"in retrospect, i guess we resorted to cannibalism a bit early."

Posts: 158 | From: grrrrr, nowhere, usa | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1679

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Being virgins, or having never had sexual contact with someone else does not mean that there's no way you could have picked up an STD. In fact, they're called sexually transmitted diseases because they can be transmitted sexually, not because they can only be transmitted sexually. There are STDs that can be picked up from things like kissing family members, or sharing towels or glasses, or given from mother to child during birth, or many other ways. Oral sex carries an STD risk the same way that vaginal, anal, or manual sex does. And it's important to recognize that oral sex is "sex", and therefore you have to protect yourselves. Condoms and/or dental dams during oral sex and latex gloves and water-based, condom-safe lube for manual sex.

As far as the pregnancy risk question, yes, you do have a pregnancy risk if his ejaculate comes into contact with your vulva (ie. if it gets near your genitals basically), and certainly if that ejaculate is directly inserted into you (ie. on his fingers). Hand washing is a very very good idea if you're going to be involved in manual sex. Using latex gloves is an excellent idea too, as it will not only keep your hands clean, but can also help make sure his nails/cuticles/etc don't cause any small tears inside your vagina that could cause you to pick up an infection (STD).

Safe, Sound & Sexy – A Safer Sex How-To
What's The Risk? - Five Easy Risk Assessment Flow Charts
A Quickie STD/STI Risk Assessment
Testing, Testing…
A Simple Condom Primer

Check out those articles. If you've had unprotected contact already, then you need to start protecting yourselves immediately, and call your doctor, or Planned Parenthood and make appointments for full STD screens for both you and your boyfriend. Ideally, you both should be screened every 6 months anyway.

Scarleteen Advocate (and Labia Lady)

"The whole world is full of morons...they just congregate on the internet cause it's easy for them to push the buttons."

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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