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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » why is it..

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FrenchGrrl
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Member # 4171

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....why does is feel "better" when a condom isn't used? I don't get it, a condom is just a super-thin peice of plastic and isn't even slippery. so how come?? just curious what you all think!
Posts: 14 | From: Greenwood, Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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That's debatable in that 1) a lot of people find that it feels better WITH a condom, as it reduces friction which can cause chafing and 2) I'm not exactly put at ease when I know I'm doing something that can be really harmful to my health.

Anyway, we don't endorse unprotected sex here at Scarleteen, so you're not going to get a lot of responses toward your question, hon.

Check out this if you need some motivation.

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~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate

"Years ago, I was an angry young man/I'd pretend that I was a billboard/Standing tall by the side of the road/I fell in love with the beautiful highway..."-Talking Heads, "(Nothing but) Flowers"


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Actually, if you want my opinion (note this is only my personal observation from discussing this with my peers (20-somethings)), I think that while some of it may be physical, alot of the "it feels better" is mental. Sex is a very intimate act that provides a very basic physical closeness to another person, and for some people, knowing that there is still a barrier between them and the other person is a really nagging idea. And if you obsess about that long enough then you're likely to percieve the condom as an obstacle to a more complete union or sharing. Yes, a condom is just a thin piece of latex with some extra lubrication, but for some people it becomes that obstacle, and they think so much about it (consciously or unconsciously) that they can become distracted and thus lessen their enjoyment...and of course no one wants to blame themselves for this, so it must be the fault of the condom.

I think that your mental view of the condom just has alot to do with it. I also think that the way we're socialized toward sexual practices has alot to do with having that incorrect mental view. The more we hear about how "it's like taking a shower in a rain coat", or "intercourse/sex as the ultimate sharing", the more the idea that is absolutely MUST feel better without the condom is perpetuated.

It's all about your outlook.

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KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Advocate (and Labia Lady)

"The whole world is full of morons...they just congregate on the internet cause it's easy for them to push the buttons."


Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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